


Already Gone

by msmadeline_clancy



Series: Ked Universes [9]
Category: Ghost Whisperer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 06:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18114896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msmadeline_clancy/pseuds/msmadeline_clancy
Summary: Everything in Magic at Her Fingertips happened. Except for one small thing. Instead of getting with Ned and eventually moving back home, Katie stayed with Toby in New York. What Toby doesn't know yet was that she was already gone. Collab with Meowser Clancy. Timeline: Set two years after MAHF started. Christmas Time. COMPLETE





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Meowser_Clancy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meowser_Clancy/gifts).



**A/N: I am so excited to start this AU! It's going to be a small four chapter arch. There are various parts throughout where I have c** **ollaborated with my best friend Meowser Clancy and for that I thank her. I love you bestie! I hope you all enjoy! xx Mariah**

* * *

It was just past eight when Katie had started getting ready for her night out with her boyfriend Toby when the phone rang, causing her eyes to move from the mirror as she applied eyeliner. With a flick of her wrist, she had a nice black line across her eyelid and reached for her phone.

"Hello?" She said answering the call.

"Hey bug," her father's voice was calm, she could hear someone babbling in the back and she assumed it to be her littlest sister Emma. "How's the city?"

"Loud and crowded," she said putting him on speaker. "The usual. How's Grandview?"

"Quiet and boring. I'm trying to get your sisters to fall asleep with a car ride, but they are just talking to each other back there. Emma's gotten so big since you were last home and even started walking." He laughed. "Your mom isn't feeling too well, so I thought I'd take Emma and Lana off her hands tonight so she could get a nap in."

"I miss you all so much!" She said, smiling at the thought of her sisters growing bigger in her head. "I hope mom feels better,  so you can have time with her when she isn't tired," she laughed.

"I have many ways to get your mother alone and I wasn't even trying this time! I swear." He said as she reached for her lipstick.

These were the conversations she missed having with her father, but Toby made moving to Grandview sound impossible. He never wanted to talk about moving, he always changed the subject. He hated living in a small town that's why he moved to the city, he'd always say. "Are you and Toby coming home for Christmas?" He asked.

She didn't know what to say. Toby had expressed to her that he wanted to stay home this year. Have a holiday with just her and spend the whole time in bed since she'd already taken the time off to go home. She always went home for every holiday. Well, except this year. She hadn't been home since the summer.

"Umm... I don't know dad. Toby's not feeling well," she lied, biting her tongue before she was able to say anything else.

"That sucks," he sighed. "I'm guessing he's not up for the drive."

"Nope," she popped her lips on the p and grinned. She loved the color red on her. "Oh, this lip color is perfect. Sorry dad, I forgot for a second you were on the line. But back to what I was going to say... if Toby's feeling better we'll drive down, but if not, I'm gonna stay and be with him until the day before Christmas Eve. I'd drive home on 23rd if that makes sense."

"I'll let your mom know," he said. "She'll be upset, you know how much she misses you, Katie. You didn't come home for Halloween or Thanksgiving this year. Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just working a lot and junior year is proving to be a little harder now that I'm not doing just generals." She sighed, trying to come up with some other excuse than not wanting to stand up to her boyfriend. "I have six classes and they are two-hour lectures. No fun classes this semester. I'm so glad to be done with this semester, even though it's been my first real challenge with school in years."

"I check up on your grades all the time Katie. Five A's and a B, I know it's not school." He muttered. "I just wish you'd tell me the truth."

She couldn't tell him the truth because she didn't even know what it was. Toby just said he hates family functions because he never had them and never said anything else. Was she supposed to press him on a subject she knew made him uncomfortable?

"I am, dad. I swear. Toby is sick and doesn't want to travel, but I will be home for Christmas with or without him, okay?" She told him, promising him. "Just don't tell mom though because I want to surprise her."

"I am not promising anything because she has her ways of getting information out of me." He laughed. "You know that."

"I know, dad," she laughed, standing up from her desk. "I've gotta get ready. Toby will be here any moment to pick me up for our date."

"Okay, bug," he sighed. "Have a nice night out with Toby. Be safe. I love you."

"Thank you. Give everyone my love and lots of hugs," she smiled, opening her closet door.

"I will," he said and she ended the call, throwing her phone back on the bed. "Bye sweetheart."

What to wear. What to wear.

Did she want to go sexy or comfortable? She knew dinner was a given, but would they be going anywhere after? Or would they come straight home?

She longed for her best friend to be here. For them still to be living together in that little apartment like they always dreamed. Toby still held a grudge most of the time about how it took him two years to get her to move in with him.

Hannah would've known exactly what she should wear. She always did.

The front door closed as she pulled out a dress from her closet.

"Katie? You ready?" Toby asked.

"I'm just changing," she called out, laying the dress on the bed. "How's the weather?"

"A little chilly," he cleared his throat. "A little snowfall."

"Okay," she said, grabbing the dress and putting it back. Comfortable it was. "I'll be right out."

She slipped the shorts she was wearing off and grabbed a gray pencil skirt, wiggling her hips and zipping it up. She walked over to her dresser, pulling out black panties, slipping them on and checking herself out in the mirror. She giggled once she noticed she was still wearing her Grandview Track hoodie and pulled it off, immediately yanking her old bra off and tossing it into the nearby hamper.

Toby walked in as she turned around to dig through her top drawer. She couldn't find a single black bra. Not one. She owned three. Well, two because she forgot until now that she'd thrown one out during the move because the strap ripped.

"I am not complaining one bit babe, but our reservation is at nine and you're topless in our bedroom still." Toby laughed, she peeked over her shoulder.

"Hello to you too," she smiled, grabbing the only bra in her drawer, a red one.

"Don't put that on just yet," he grinned. "Turn around for me?"

"I guess," she straightened and turned around, holding the bra on her finger. "Can I put this on now or would you like to continue to gawk?"

"I'd like to continue to gawk and be granted permission to touch," he walked closer, pulling her to him. "Hi, baby."

"Hi," she blushed and kissed him. "Are the roads bad?"

"Not since the plows went through," he winked. "Everything's going to be fine."

"I'm still scared. Ever since you got in the wreck last month because of all the ice I've been so worried we'll get in another crash." She sighed. "Plus there's a predicted storm and that could always come early."

"We're fine. The car's fine." He kissed her. "Stop worrying."

God, he always knew how to soothe her. And to come to think, she couldn't think of a time when he wasn't there for her in the past two years. They've been through so much.

With their struggles with Ned her freshman year and their own struggles with controlling Toby's anger after he hit her. To their fights over not getting enough time and space alone while she lived with Hannah. To them moving in this September and for now, everything was going great. It wasn't a big change. She just moved across the hall, but it wasn't the same as sharing an apartment with Hannah. She missed that. She missed home too.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

"Nothing," she grinned. "I need to get dressed. Stop distracting me, okay?"

"Okay," he stepped back. "I'll be on the couch waiting." He closed the door behind him and she pulled her bra on, clasping it and adjusting accordingly in the mirror.

Okay, she needed to snap a selfie and send it to her mom. God damn, did her mother give her the best body in the world.

She grabbed her phone and posed, sending it to her mom with the message.

Just a thank you for how killer I look in this skirt and bra. Thank you mama for giving me life! I love you.

She went to her closet, pulling a tight maroon shirt over her head. It looked perfect. Now all she needed was her coat and shoes. She grabbed her coat off the closet door and buttoned it at the front, reaching down to slip her heels on as she walked out.

"Alright, I'm ready." She grinned, grabbing her purse off the coffee table.

"Thank heavens," he smiled, standing and kissing her. "Let's get going."

He pulled on his coat as she opened the door and grabbed her hand as they walked out, locking the door behind them.

* * *

The past few weeks had been hard for Katie. There had been an even more intense than usual ghost. She'd had issues keeping secrets from her loved ones while she was still living and now that she was a ghost it had taken Katie forever to learn anything. And even more, time to get things resolved because the ghost had attacked her the first few times she tried to talk to the family she'd kept the secrets from.

It hadn't helped. The whole thing had put Katie way on edge and she'd been so thankful to finally bid farewell to the earthbound spirit, set free at last.

But Katie had gone home feeling even more unsettled.

She needed to tell Toby.

But the time was never right. He was always either too stressed to be able to handle it well or they were in a good patch and she didn't want to rock the boat.

He squeezed her hand as they walked into the restaurant. It seemed fancy. She never was the kind of girl to like expensive restaurants. They seemed like the worse choice when smaller establishments usually always had better food for an affordable price.

"This place better not be too expensive,"

"Holding a reservation here was a hundred dollars. I don't even want to think about how much the food or wine is." He cleared his throat. "But I only get the best for my girl."

"Toby," she was grateful he did things like this for her. "You don't have to pull out all the stops for me, you know?"

"I know, I'm in love with a small town girl," he laughed, kissing her forehead as they got to the podium. "Reservation for Tobias."

"Yes," the man at the podium grabbed two menus and grinned. "Will you two be needing a wine list?"

"We'll take one, yes." He nodded and followed the host to their table. "It's beautiful in here, isn't it?"

"Very beautiful," she commented, looking up at the intricate moldings in the ceiling. "My mother would probably kick the bucket at the sight of that chandelier."

"What doesn't impress your mother?" Toby muttered and Katie almost didn't catch it.

"What?"

He smiled at her, upping the pressure of his hand on her lower back as they reached their table. "She has so many kids, that's all. You'd have thought they'd stop after the perfection of you." He pulled out her chair.

The statement should have been sweet. But instead, it left a pit of uncertainty in her stomach, one that lingered after Toby ordered a whole bottle of La Crema Chardonnay.

"Only the best," he repeated.

Honestly though. Katie had been looking at the beer menu.

She shook it off and looked at the menu, trying not to linger on the prices. The steaks here were $28 but the vegetables that came with them? $30!

She felt confused and irritated that Toby had chosen here. Especially when she could read all the French names on the menu but he had no idea what they meant. She had a fair handling on everything but there were a few things that even confused her and small-town girl or not, this was ridiculous. Toby literally could not afford this restaurant and she didn't know why they were here.

When the waiter came by, offering appetizers, Toby ordered the goat cheese and prosciutto plate. It came at least 15 minutes later, very long for an appetizer, and it was about four pieces of prosciutto and three of goat cheese, with two pieces of bread. Katie tried not to glance at the menu but she knew that the cost had been over $20.

This was ridiculous.

She breathed in and ordered the chicken, while Toby got a steak and frowned at her for not sticking to the script. She didn't feel like red meat though.

They were halfway through their entrees when Katie stopped feeling hungry, a lump in her throat. Toby had been talking throughout the whole meal about how he loved the openness of the relationship and how much progress they had made. He was talking about how grateful he was that she stayed with him and helped him overcome his anger issues. "And I know that you would've let me help you with anything worrying you too." He smirked. "But you're too perfect for that."

She had to tell him. She had to tell him about her gift.

But suddenly Toby was clearing his throat. Just as she screwed up enough courage. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, taking one last sip of wine to steady her nerves. And Toby didn't even notice, completely talking over her.

"Should we get the check? I want to take you somewhere." He said softly, signalling the waiter.

"Sure," she nodded, taking her last bite of chicken before wiping her mouth. "That's fine."

He stood and helped her into her coat as they made their way to the podium. He paid the check with two different credit cards and she sighed. Why did he come here if he knew he couldn't afford it on one damn card?

They walked out just as snow started to fall again. Toby took her hand the moment they stepped outside, and lead her to the right, toward their apartment. They'd walked, it was only seven blocks away and it wasn't too chilly, even with the snow.

"That was great," he says after they've walked a few minutes in comfortable silence.

"It was," she lied, though a part of her wished she could tell him how she wanted to go somewhere affordable or even stayed home. A night home with him sounded perfect. Making dinner with him and getting into the usual food fight.

"I really love you Katie," he said, looking at her meaningfully. "I love our life together. I would be happy with you forever."

That's what he wants, she realized. He wants to be at her side forever. Not as her friend, or even her boyfriend. As her husband. She's not ready for a conversation like that, not when he didn't know the biggest secret in her life, so she stopped it from progressing the only way she knew how: she kissed him.

He makes a noise of surprise and slipped his hands around her waist, pulling her closer. The kiss was like all the others lately – perfectly nice, but nothing that stirs anything deeper. Maybe she's just not a kissing person. She liked it when he hugged her, and there's an undeniable pleasure that she felt whenever his hands started to drift to the more sensitive parts of her body. But the kisses themselves…they're just lips touching lips, tongue brushing tongue. They weren't like that in the beginning. Never at first. At first her lips burned for him to kiss them, for him to take her into his arms and carry her to her bed.

"What's wrong?" He said as they broke away. "You seem distant."

"Sorry," she muttered, looking up at the foggy sky. She hated that she couldn't see the stars in the city. "It's just… really cold."

"Yeah," he laughed, rubbing his hands together. "Let's keep moving, but there is something I want to say."

"What?" She smiled up at him.

"It's just, this has been on my mind for so long and I know that it's finally time." He grinned, pulling her across the street to the steps of their apartment building. "You have meant everything to me these past few years. You have been like my muse. My goddess. The angel that's only improved my life and made me better."

She didn't like these comparisons. She was a woman. That was her power. She was a strong, independent woman. She wasn't a goddess or a muse.

She had literally written an essay in college about why it was dangerous to put women on pedestals, to put celebrities on pedestals, to put anyone on a pedestal. Because everyone was human. Wasn't that the best part of life?

"And I want you to know how special you are to me. I want the world to know."

"Toby, what are you saying?" She interrupted him, watching him carefully as he ran up the steps.

"I was right here when I first saw you," he said.

She thought of that day. Of how nervous she was to be here all alone. Loud noises still startled her and she had never stolen a cab from someone yet.

"You must be 7B," he had said from the top of the stairs.

"And you are?" She asked, startled by his voice.

This wasn't happening. She hadn't told him about her gift. The most important part of her. She saw ghosts and he didn't know. She couldn't marry him if their kids could inherit this same gift. And they would. She knew that. It never skipped a generation, well not that anyone knew of yet.

Maybe they wouldn't have kids. She could do that, couldn't she?

No. She wanted kids. But when she thought about it, she didn't want them with Toby. He wasn't good with kids. She'd have all the responsibility and that wasn't what she wanted. Just like this moment. A moment she'd dreamed of her entire life.

A moment she always dreamed she'd share with Ned.

"The truth is you are the most incredible person I have ever met." He said, coming back down the stairs, looking down at his feet first, before kneeling. "Every time I'm with you my day is automatically brighten. You bring so much light to my dark world and I never thought someone could do that. You changed me in so many ways that I thought weren't even possible. I'll never forget that and I promise I'll never stop loving you as long as you promise the same thing. Will you marry me?" He popped the box he held in his hand open and she closed her eyes.

She didn't want to think about how flashy he probably went with this ring and she was such an antique dealer's daughter. She loved the way old rings looked when they were polished and how they sat on her fingers.

But she did because maybe he talked to Hannah or her father. Or anyone.

Diamonds shimmered from every angle of this engagement ring that he'd gotten her. Why did she hope he would ask anyone about what she liked?

"So," he said after a minute. "Will you?"

"Toby," she breathed. "I need time to think about this."

"To think about what?" He asked, standing. "We've been together for two years. I love you."

"There's something I have to tell you," she whispered, her whole body shook as the tears rolled down her cheek.

"It's Ned isn't it?" He rolled his eyes, ignoring her tears. "You don't need to be dramatic if it is."

"I wish it were that simple, but no. It's not Ned. I love you," she said softly. "But I'm just not ready to get married. I need to think about this before I say yes or no. Okay?"

"I understand it's a lot to ask for you to know your answer on the spot, but I've felt you slip away these past few months and it's killing me because all I want is you. I want all of you. Your sleepy mumbling. Your drunken embarrassment. Your silly faces. Your anger. Your apologies. Your sadness. Your stern looks. Your frustrations. Your past. I want it all. I want all of you. I know I might be the worst person in the universe, but I always try my best for you."

"I know," she cried. "And that's why I need to go home. I need to take this time and figure out if this is what I want. I'm not going to say yes just because you asked me, okay?"

He froze, eyes locked on hers.

She regretted her words immediately, but it's too late. The look he gave her was like a punch in the gut. "Toby, I– I love you more than anyone. You know that."

"No." He shook his head. "No, you're right. It's a lot to ask you to say yes just because I asked you. I guess it's too much to ask for a commitment from you."

"Tobias–" She clutched at his arm in desperation, but he shrugged it off, stepping back.

"I'll see you at home, Katie," he said dully, and disappeared into the building.

"No," she yelled and he turned around. "You come back here. You don't get to walk away from me after speaking to me like that. I am your girlfriend and the woman you apparently want to marry and I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown and you were gonna leave me in the cold?"

"I just want to go home," he muttered, finally pausing but not turning around.

She sagged against the railing, simply exhausted. "Me too," she whispered.

His eyes lit up for one brief moment and then he realized what she really meant. She couldn't see it but she knew his hand would be clutched in a fist. "It's always about home with you," he shouted. "It's like you never moved out of fucking Grandview."

He stormed down the stairs towards her and Katie couldn't help herself. Even though it was so long ago...and he'd never done it again…

She truly believed he was going to hit her.

Toby saw her flinch away, arms coming up. Any good luck she might have had with him instantly evaporated.

"Fuck this," he spat and continued thundering down the stairs away from her. Away from their home.

She finally called after him. "Where are you going?" Her voice broke. She did love him. Didn't she? At any rate, she couldn't let it end like this.

He didn't answer but he had the luck to have a taxi pass by, which he hailed. Straining her ears, she heard him speak the name of a bar that specialized in lap dances as well as the cheapest tickets to alcohol poisoning in the city.

Katie finished walking up the stairs, back stiff.

Well. That was that. She wouldn't take her car; Toby would flip out if he couldn't use it.

She pulled out her phone, checked the schedules, and bought the first ticket out of NYC that stopped at Grandview.

Then she texted her dad, trying to stop the tears and the ache in her heart.

**Katie - December 20th - 11:30 pm: I know it's late, but I'm hoping you're still up and will see this daddy. Can you pick me up at eight am tomorrow at Grandview Central?**

Her phone vibrated immediately and in between the tears that rolled down her cheeks she read it.

**Dad - December 20th - 11:31 pm: Of course I'll be there, Katie. I'll see you in the morning. Love you.**

Everything happened so quickly after that.

Packing her bags. Writing a note. Throwing it away. Waiting for Toby to get home, only for him not to. Writing another note and leaving.

She hailed a cab that took it Grand Central and boarded a train at four in the morning. Taking a window seat, she stared at the snow until she cried herself to sleep. She was woken when the train halted and the conductor announced they'd arrived at the fourth stop.

Grandview.

She stood on stiff legs and grabbed her bags from the compartment above. She couldn't wait to be home. To sleep in her old bed. To hug her parents. To hug her siblings.

She walked off the train and through the station, searching for her father's face. Katie saw him leaning against a post, eyes closed, her mother beside him, resting her head on his shoulder as they waited. She ran through the crowd dropping her bags at their feet.

Melinda's eyes flew open at the thud and she embraced her daughter, feeling her tears soak into her coat. "Oh, Katie. My sweet babygirl," her mother hummed, running her hands through her hair. "You're home."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm sorry for such random updates here and there, but with college and work my schedule can get kinda hectic. But now that mid-term grades are in and my classes are settling down and I have my ducks in a row, I should be able to get one a regular updating schedule! Hopefully... but school will always come first. Enjoy :) xx Mariah**

* * *

"Ten bucks says I can bank this off the coffeemaker and get it to land right in the trash can." Ned held up the wadded up report and arched his arm through the air to loosen it up. His uniform strained as his bicep flexed, straining the navy fabric.

Scott leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, a cocky grin on his face. "No rim."

"That's not what your mom said last night," he fired back, earning a guffaw from him, but a disgusted noise came from his left. He swivelled to flash Erin his best smile of apology, that made him resemble a guilty puppy dog, and sure enough, her blue eyes softened immediately before she stood to grab something from the printer. "Get your wallet out, O'Neill," he declared, extending his arm and letting the paper fly across the room.

As it approached the table where the printer sits, Erin's hand snuck out and snatched the wad mid-air. Quick instincts that one had. She grabbed her papers from the printer and her warm eyes met his as deliberately dropped the paper into the trash by her feet. His eyes followed her ass in those slim work slacks that she always wears as she walked back toward her desk.

"I don't know why you two don't just hook-up already and get it over with," Scott snorted and crumpled up a new sheet of paper.

He shot him a look and snatched the paper from him, firing a line drive at the trashcan. He didn't even bother to see if it goes in and instead cut his gaze to Erin. She'd already busied herself behind her desk, quickly putting the papers in order.

He kept watching, waiting for Erin to begin her usual afternoon ritual. She would always gather the papers and would put each case file together and neatly stapled and put them into a new folder as she always did before turning a report in for approval to their Captain. Lastly, she pulled out her neon Post-It notes and grabbed a pen from her top drawer. She gnawed on the end, those lush lips wrapped around it while she chewed, and by the time she was done with her file, it looked like the Lucky Charms leprechaun had done a mad jig over the pages.

Erin was always so prepared for her briefings. There was just something about her that undid him, that made him lust after her. God, he wanted her so bad sometimes. Suddenly she looked up, directly at him. That mouth of hers twisted into a scowl, but rather than glance away or show any remorse for blatantly staring at her, he smiled again.

"Wipe that shit grin off your face Banks," Erin laughed and shook her head. "Before I come and do it myself."

"Yes, ma'am," he teased and spun back around on his chair. 

His phone vibrated in his pocket, but he ignored it as the Captain's office door opened. He quickly resumed what he was to be finishing in order to get home. He'd been here since dawn, it was already four.

"Banks," LeTrai's voice came into earshot as he exited his office. "What are you still doing here? Weren't you to leave an hour ago?"

"Yeah," he straightened his slacked posture and pressed print on his report. "I'm printing out my report sir." He cleared his throat.

"Get on that then," LeTrai muttered. "I want to see you before you leave."

"Sure thing, Captain," he replied and stood, only needing to reach to grab the freshly printed report.

LeTrai nodded his approval and then walked over to Erin's desk, collecting the folders she'd prepared for him before slipping back into his office.

* * *

Ned knocked before he entered his Captain's office, file in hand.

"You wanted to see me, sir," he muttered softly.

"Close the door," Josh cleared his throat and closed his laptop, leaning back into his chair. "Have a seat."

"Here's my report on the Henderson case." He sat in the chair and held the file out. "It's complete. I was able to get all of the photos from evidence and I put three separate witness statements in there as well."

"I'm glad to finally see this case closed. Good job Ned," LeTrai nodded, taking the file, opening it and glancing at the first page. He tossed the file onto the others on his desk and sighed. "Do you know why I called you in?"

"No sir," he replied.

"Well, I want to first off congratulate you on all of your hard work you've done this past year. You're a great asset to our team, Ned. I commend you on that." LeTrain explained, sitting up straight. "But there is something I want to speak with you about." He paused, looking to Ned. "I've sensed something from you. You're going to do great things for this town, but that doesn't mean I don't worry. You're very hot headed Ned."

"That's something I've learned to control sir," he explained. "It has never come up on the job."

"Not yet it hasn't," LeTrai muttered. "It's something I hope will never come up, but still. This job is about more than pride Ned. It's not about the chase or the heroism. It's about making this town a little safer every single day. Do you understand that?"

"Very much so," he said. "I take this job very seriously."

"You're reckless and slow Ned. This report should've been on my desk a week ago." LeTrai stated.

"I've been swamped with trying to pick the best witnesses to record." He explained. "I dropped the ball. I apologize."

"You're good Ned. I don't want to lose you," LeTrai said. "But you need to get your shit together. I can tell that you're missing something from your life and until you find it, your work isn't going to get any better and neither will your position on this team. I want you to climb the ladder. I want you to even be Captain one day, but you sure as hell won't be until you settle down."

"I'm not sure I understand what you're saying here." He muttered, itching his head.

Was LeTrai telling him to get married? Or was he just trying to get him to stop drinking as much? Or maybe he even wanted him to stop flirting with more than one girl at a time.

"What I'm trying to say here is I don't know if I want someone on my team who doesn't have a reason to go home after work," LeTrain explained. "I don't want one of my men out there with something to prove. I want someone stable. Can you do that for me?"

"I don't know sir," he muttered.

One thing Ned did know was that he didn't know if he could be that person for LeTrai. Not yet.

* * *

After picking up Katie from the train station, Melinda talked her into eating some food at their favorite breakfast joint in town.

"I guess I needed to eat," she muttered, wiping her mouth and setting the empty plate to the side. "I also hadn't realized how much I'd missed Rosie's place."

"There's not a better place in the world for breakfast food!" Jim exclaimed, taking a big bite of his waffles.

"You just say that because you love breakfast daddy," the edges of her lips perked up and she almost smiled, but turned to finish her coffee.

"Maybe so, but still, Rosie's is fantastic," her dad grinned and finished his food.

"I can agree on that," she laughed and looked up as her mother sat beside her again.

"Sorry, the line was long for the ladies room." Melinda huffed and wrapped her arm around her shoulder. "I'm glad to see that smile."

"Me too," Jim reached across the table for her hand and she squeezed his. "You gonna tell us what happened yet?"

"Toby proposed last night," she breathed.

"He did? Oh my goodness, Katie, that's great." Melinda smiled and looked across to her dad to reply too, kicking him under the table.

"Yeah. Great." Her dad mumbled, crossing his arms. "I love that guy."

Suddenly, she was laughing so hard. She couldn't stop. Her father was just so priceless. The way he shrugged and crossed his arms. And then there was her mother, her sweet, loving mother who hated Toby just as much her father did.

She waved her hand in the air, her flag of apology. She didn't know why, but the waves of laughter kept coming. She tried to catch her breath and snorted and her parents burst out laughing. This was her first genuine laugh in weeks.

"What's so funny?" Melinda grinned.

"Both of you," she said, her laughter catching in her throat. "I love you both so much."

"Oh Katie," Melinda pulled her daughter into her arms. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," she mumbled, breathing in her lavender scent. Her body instantly relaxing to the familiarity. "You don't know how much I missed you mom. Both of you."

"We do," Jim said and she looked at him. "We haven't seen you since your birthday, Katie."

"I know. I know. I'm so sorry. I let Toby get in my head. He doesn't like coming here." She explained. "He knows you both hate him."

"Good," Jim muttered. "I don't feel bad for him."

"I don't hate him, sweetheart," Melinda sighed.

She looked at both of her parents and shook her head. Her father, the honest brute and her mother, who lied through her teeth to be polite.

"You don't have to say that. I know you hate him, mom," she laughed.

"I don't hate him," Melinda said, shrugging. "I just… don't like him as much as I wish I did."

"Well, I didn't say yes if that makes both of you feel better," she said.

"Oh, thank God," they both laughed and let out a sigh.

She laughed with them as the waitress stopped by to pour coffee in both her and her mother's cup.

"I didn't say no either." She explained. "I told him I needed to think on it, and he didn't like that answer, so he left me on the steps of our building in the cold to get drunk at a strip club."

"So you came home," Melinda whispered. "How long are you staying?"

"As long as you let me," she grinned, reaching for her mug.

"Oh, then forever baby," Melinda smiled and kissed her forehead. "You can stay forever."

* * *

It was her siblings' last day before winter break so Katie ended up going with her mother to the shop; her dad was on his way to the hospital and kissed them both goodbye as their ways parted.

But there was no use going to an empty house.

And Melinda had a meeting with a potential seller today so she had to go straight there.

Katie stood in the front behind the desk, as Delia and Melinda hurried to finish getting ready for the seller.

"We need to prove he can do without an auction," Melinda was fretting. Both women were a little frazzled; Delia had barely greeted Katie before she'd rushed to finish things with Melinda.

So Katie was watching the front door. This was so typical and she loved it. That after all her time away she could still fit seamlessly into her family's life.

Her mind started to wander; she went over to the wall where a few dresses were hanging and she remembered one of the last days she had worked for her Mom. It had been a terribly hot day; the AC had been broken.

And Ned, of all people, had come to fix it.

She felt her whole world still, inhaling a little at how just the thought of Ned made her heart quicken and her breath catch.

Still.

After so freaking long.

She wondered if this was how it was just always going to be. After all, she'd crushed on Ned from such a small age. Maybe it was just biological that she had this reaction now.

It was like he was in her DNA. She shivered, arms closing around herself, remembering the heat of the day and the intensity and warmth of Ned's gaze on her body that day.

The shop was empty. No one was out when it was this hot even inside.

She ducked into the back, not bothering to lock the front door of the shop, and tugged her jeans off.

The wind chimes sounded to signal a customer. "Just a second!" She called, unbuttoning her shirt and shoving towards the jeans. She was just pulling the dress over her head when she got a bit stuck—it had looked loose enough to get it on with unzipping it but now she was reconsidering that assumption—when she heard a throat clearing.

A male throat.

And she was standing there, in her underwear, in the middle of changing her clothes.

She gave a gigantic tug, resigning herself to her fate, and the dress came down, falling in graceful folds down her body.

"Hey, Katie. Your dad sent me over." A male voice spoke.

Her cheeks were already red. Upon the realization that it was Ned, Katie felt like she was about to have a heart attack. No! Just no. There should be some sort of universal ban against one's crush seeing oneself in an embarrassing situation.

She couldn't even speak for a few too long moments. Ned was looking anywhere but her, and yet she noticed something else: even as he avoided looking at her, there seemed to be some sort of pull: every few seconds his eyes darted back to stare at her before jerking away.

"Oh, god," she whispered, fingers at her throat, perhaps unconsciously imagining that they were Ned's.

She exhaled, hearing the door open, slowly turning away from the wall to face whoever had walked in.

"Welcome to-"

"Mom!"

The pair spoke the words at the same time and the pair froze at the same time, registering the unexpected but forever familiar voice they'd just heard.

"Ned," Katie whispered, stepping forward, revealing herself to him, and finally placing eyes on the man who'd previously had her heart.

But as she met his green eyes, let her gaze travel over a body that seemed impossibly tall and definitely more muscular than she'd remembered, she realized something else. The real reason she'd never been able to tell Toby about her gift. The real reason she hadn't been able to say yes to him when he'd asked her to marry him.

Because she didn't love him. And she wasn't even in love with him.

God help her.

She was still in love with Ned Banks.

* * *

It wasn't that he needed his mother, Ned reassured himself.

But he had to talk to someone.

Why wasn't he ready? And those reasons...barely made sense.

He headed across the snowy square, heading straight for the shop, reluctantly beginning to see that LeTrai might have a point.

There was no one he really wanted to tell. No one he could run to. There hadn't been in a very long time.

He wondered how it would feel to have that kind of person in his life. That steadying presence. And all of the girls that he'd been flirting with...lusting after…

He knew that they would never be truly important to him.

Not as he was right now.

He walked into the shop, looking down, wanting to know from his mother if he really was still unreliable and unsteady. Because he'd tried. So hard. To prove himself to LeTrai. To be the man his father had been. To be the man Jim was. To be a man.

And not the little boy he was scared he still was, deep inside.

"Mom!"

"Welcome to-"

And he froze. Because Ned knew that voice. In the first instant, he heard it, the first syllable. It was like it had been carved into his soul. Like something had ensured that he would never forget or misplace it.

Katie.

Katie was back.

"Ned," she breathed, stepping forward.

His eyes fell on her, drank her in. Her tired eyes. Her hair, coming loose from a braid.

She was beautiful. Long hair. Curved body. Long legs. And her eyes.

He met her eyes and somehow didn't flinch. Didn't turn away. Somehow he was able to meet her gaze and once their eyes were locked he found that he couldn't look away from their depths. God in heaven above.

Her lips froze, her eyes flashed dangerously and he knew what she wanted to say, but he knew what she can't say.

He wanted to tell her that it didn't need saying, which he already knew. He wanted to say that he could hear it in the silence, see it in the color of her eyes, and feel it just walking toward her.

That it was in his hands whenever her fingers finally touched his and in the breath, she took before she said his name. He never said any of those things because he was always a little too good at being selfish when it came to Katie.

He wanted her to finally see her struggle with the insignificant words that mean so much. He wanted her to say it because bloody hell, he loved her.

Katie.

She was the one.

The only one who could be to him what LeTrai had told him he needed. Ned's reason to come home.

And then his mind came to a screeching halt.

Katie couldn't be his reason to come home. She had a boyfriend. Didn't she?

And words that Ned would regret for a very long time tumbled from his mouth. What a way to start a conversation.

"Where's Toby?"

* * *

She blinked back at him, her silence was a better answer than she could ever give.

How could she tell him? What would she tell him? The truth? Oh right. Toby's back at home because he proposed and she ran here. Or would she lie and tell him everything was great like she always did.

"He stayed home," she finally said.

"Katie! I just heard the fantastic news!" Delia squealed, hugging Katie. "Toby proposed last night! Isn't that just fantastic Ned? Can I see the ring?"

"Delia I wasn't finished yet... She doesn't-" Melinda came around the corner a second later and stopped the rest of her sentence when she saw Ned. More particularly when she saw how Ned was looking at her daughter and how her daughter was looking right back at him. "Hi, Ned."

"Hi Mel," Ned shoved his hands in his pockets and met Katie's eyes, which were anything but what he'd expected after the news his mother had just shared. Shouldn't she look happier and want to show off the ring? "That's great, Katie."

"Where's the ring?" Delia asked, holding her hand up. "Did you take it off?"

Katie was swamped with every emotion at once and pulled her hand back, hiding it behind her back. Why hadn't her mom told Delia the whole story?

"Let's give Katie a minute, okay? There has been a lot going on for her these past few days," Melinda said and ushered Delia a few steps back. "I need to talk to you in the back. Now."

"But I wanna hear every detail about this proposal later..." Delia sighed, winking back at Katie.

"That's why I need you in the back." Melinda jabbed her friend's side.

"Fine," Delia said and reluctantly went with.

The second the double doors closed, Katie sat on the couch and laid her head in her hands. She could feel the tears building up again, but she was so sick of crying over Toby. He wasn't worth it. He never had been.

She didn't know what to tell Ned. Should she tell him the truth? Or would his mom tell him once hers finished the rest of the story?

"Hey, what's wrong?" Ned sat beside her and his hand rested on her back. It was warm and she leaned into his side as he wrapped his arm more firmly around her. "You know anything you tell me is safe with me, right?"

She looked up at him, her breath too shaky to hide anything from him now. She felt his hand on her back and she laid her head on his shoulder. "Toby asked me to marry him," she sighed.

"I know," he attempted a small smile, halfheartedly, and she wanted to tell him to stop it. He couldn't keep looking at her like that like he didn't have a heart for anyone except her. "I guess he took hearing about your gift well then? I know the last time we talked was a while ago, but you hadn't told him yet. I remember."

"You remember what?" She asked, looking up at him as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"We were at the lake house this summer the last time I saw you," he said, reaching over to wipe the tear away. "It was your birthday and you were dancing. You looked so happy, but then you stopped and for a second I thought you were staring at me, but I knew that look. You were staring at a ghost but Toby stormed off because to him, you were staring at me."

His hand lingered on her cheek, his thumb tracing her jaw. He was so far from the man that she used to know.

The player.

The boy.

She wondered if there was any of the old him left, she always did, but he blinked and it was in his eyes. That look that was only ever saved for her.

"Ned, there's another piece of the story that you're missing," she muttered, touching his hand and moving it to his side.

Because as much as she loved the way it felt for him to touch her... she wasn't his to touch. She was still with Toby and that was something she would never do.

"What?" He asked.

"I didn't say yes."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I swear that every single time my life lets up a little and things are good another curve ball comes and wipes me out. First midterms were just shitty and then I got into a car crash. But now my starter in my car decided to shit out and I need to get another one. More money out of my pocket and into my car... ugh adulting sucks so much. One thing I am looking forward to is the not only the holidays, but for this semester to just be done and over with. Twenty days and counting! I'm trying to update as much as I can, but finals are coming up, so be paitent. Enjoy! xx Mariah**

* * *

Toby wasn't home very long before he realized Katie had left. He thought she'd stay, wait up for him. Like she always did.

There were too many times when they'd fight and he'd storm out, leaving her alone. She'd always wait up for him. Sometimes she'd be in bed, lights off, but waiting up for him. Other times she'd be on the couch when he walked back through the door, but this was the first time she didn't wait.

But it was near nine o'clock the next morning when he finally sobered up enough to climb all seven flights of stairs home. He didn't expect her to wait that long. He'd been so angry when he left. He hadn't even thought about her. About how she might've been feeling when he left.

He slumped against the doorframe when he saw that she wasn't going about her morning.

She didn't have to work today. This was supposed to be their day. He'd planned on her saying yes, on spending the rest of the night and next morning in bed with her.

Instead there was a chill in the apartment when he entered, an emptiness. He dropped his keys on the coffee table as he stumbled through. He drug his feet as he looked around. Hoping to find her hunched over the bathroom sink doing her makeup or making food on the stove.

The apartment was empty.

He just wanted to talk to her. He'd hoped she'd be home. That he'd be able to make it up to her. For storming off, like he always did. He had to work on that. He really did. If they ever were going to have a family one day.

Why couldn't she have just said yes? What was holding her back?

Sighing, he went to the fridge, grabbing a beer.

What was it that made dealing with Katie so worth it?

Leaning against the fridge, he thought, tipping the bottle back. He was reminded of a time when they were happy. Right after they went out of town for her birthday.

She was dancing around the kitchen while they made breakfast, hardly wearing any clothes, because did it really matter if they were distracted?

They had nothing to do. No work to be done. No bills to be paid. The only thing on their mind was each other.

He'd pulled her close after she'd brushed past him too many times, kissing her, pinning her against the island. She laughed against him, moaning as his tongue connected with hers, his arms picking her up and placing her on the counter.

"I love you," he gushed, his hand moving hair out of her face, then cupping her cheek. "So much."

"I love you too," she breathed, kissing him again.

She loved that she knew exactly how they fit together, his arm around her waist, her hands on his chest, the pressure of his lips on hers. They have each other memorized.

They mold together, like they always do, fitted against one another. Feeling the strength of his arms around her. Inhaling sweat and leather and woodsmoke. His scents. She felt as though she'd found a moment of forever. Like this was how they should've always been.

Happy. Blissfully Happy.

What had happened to them? They could be so great, sometimes. Other times, well things weren't great. They fought a lot. Always about her wanting to go home. She wanted to go home as much as she could. He didn't. He wanted to stay in the city.

"I miss my family, Toby." She'd always yell.

"So go by yourself then. No one's stopping you." He'd always mutter back.

She never did go without him. Mostly because she knew he didn't like when she'd be home around Ned without him.

And all that did was start another fight. Neither of them wanted that. And that was what made this time different.

She left without him.

Maybe this was for the better. He could surprise her when she came home. Make things right. She'd see. Oh, she'd see.

Once she came home to him.

* * *

Ned stared at Katie as she stood there, outside his apartment.

He'd just opened the door and was met with her face to face.

She'd only told him the truth about Toby yesterday. That she hadn't said yes to his proposal. Not why or anything else. Just that she'd said maybe and that she needed time to think. He hadn't reacted. Mostly let the news sink in.

He knew better than to think she was ready for him to tell her how he felt yet.

Their mother's had interrupted things yesterday anyway. They always did have the greatest timing.

He'd left and buried himself in his case. She'd gone to help her mother before going home for a relaxing night with her family. Her siblings had gone to school today. The last day before break. Katie had just finished another day with her mother at the shop when she'd decided to stop by.

He only lived across the square from the store, wanting to live close to the station. It was just easier.

Melinda had wanted to finish up the last of inventory they'd started the day before, saying Katie could fill her time some other way. Katie was gone a second later, texting her mother to pick her up outside the one and only Ned Banks apartment.

He'd made her promise to come by before Melinda whisked her away to help her start inventory.

Melinda was wary of him, he knew that. He didn't even blame her. Jim told her every single time he stopped by the ER because of work.

Every.

Single.

Time.

And every single time his mother would also find out and scold him. But he didn't blame Melinda. She was just over-protective of her daughter. And he felt the same. He would never stop protecting her.

"You gonna let me in?" She finally spoke, pulling her hat off her head. "I'm kind of cold."

She was dressed simply, wearing leggings and a sweater. A big beige material that hung over her knees paired with cute boots. She looked beautiful whenever he saw her.

He cleared his throat, nodding to her, leaving the door open for her as he turned on his heel to walk back into his apartment.

"Are you okay?" He stood nearby, watching her pull her scarf from her neck and jacket from her shoulders. She shoved her accessories in her pockets as she hung her jacket up, pulling her boots off. "I want an honest answer, Katie."

"Honestly, I don't know," she admitted, her shoulders sagging as she walked toward him. "I used to feel everything, and now? I mean.. I still have feelings, but they're different."

They sat on the couch next to each other, their knees brushing against each other. She paused and looked at the ground, not knowing how to talk to him anymore. What did he want to talk about?

Yesterday had been interesting. She'd broken down in front of him. Tears and all. Like a lunatic. He didn't even know she'd never told Toby about her gift.

"I don't know how I am supposed to feel. I want to be happy. I wish I could've just said yes to Toby, but it's like I've gone numb to him, and the worst part is I'm not sure if I mind anymore." She spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully.

He didn't know what to say.

How to comfort her. She was a completely different person these days, but when he looked into her eyes, she was still Katie. His sweet, beautiful Katie. Curious eyes and all

He wished to tell her how much he'd missed her.

That he still knew her favorite author and her coffee order, and that he noticed the way she tapped her fingers on her thigh when she was upset. He wanted to tell her that she should leave Toby. That he would be there for her, on the bad days and the good ones. He wanted to hear her laugh and know he was the reason why. He wanted to tell her that she could cry and he'd completely understand.

Instead, he reached out, knowing now wasn't the time, she still needed time to think. To process. He settled for grabbing the fidgeting hand on her thigh as he met her eyes.

He was mesmerized by the deep swirls of brown that colored her pupils, the rims were red like she'd had a harsh night. Maybe she cried herself to sleep. Her makeup was doing the job of hiding any blotchy crying marks. The golden black mascara on her half-opened eyelids added a smoky and dramatic look. With her translucent honey-colored eyes and long eyelashes, her eyes looked like a cat's

"Don't be so damn hard on yourself," he said. "Stop destroying what is left of your heart by constantly thinking about things that have broken you, Katie. I promise it will get better. You won't always feel alone."

"How do you know that?" She asked, her voice hoarse.

The kettle screamed in the kitchen behind him, interrupting them.

"I just do, Katie. You're resilient." He spoke clearly and kissed her forehead as he stood. "I'll be right back."

He went to pull the kettle off the hot burner. He poured the steaming water into a cup, putting a spoonful of sugar and dab of honey at the bottom before he grabbed a tea bag.

All he had was peach, something he was pretty sure it was from one of the many women he'd fooled around with in the past, but she didn't need to know that.

"Here, to calm you down." He handed her the mug with a spoon and he watched as a smile grew on her face.

"You made me tea," she swirled the spoon around. "Thank you."

"I know that it calms you." He cleared his throat. "So I put a pot on before you came. Sorry, all I had was peach."

"It's okay. Peach is a good flavor. Do you know why it calms me?" She asked, laughing. "I've never actually told anyone. Not even Hannah." She paused, smiling when she thought about Hannah. She missed her. "Hmm... Hannah. I miss her."

"How is Hannah? Not to change the subject, but I haven't seen her in so long." He sighed, thinking of how close Hannah and Katie always were. Nothing and nobody came between them. "It almost feels weird to think of not seeing her around."

"I haven't seen Hannah in over a year Ned." She muttered, bringing the steaming cup to mouth, breathing the smell in through her nose. "The last I knew she moved home with Brandon when she found out that she was pregnant again and that was back when I first moved in with Toby. I really miss her, but when I tried to call her it said the number was disconnected."

"But you and Hannah were always solid. What happened?" He had never expected Katie to drift from Hannah. Ever. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Life just got busy for both us. When she married Brandon, things changed. She had Mason and things changed even more. I moved in with Toby once Mason was big enough to need his own room. And then it was like we live halfway across the planet and not across the hall. I don't know. I don't like to think about it." She fought her tears again with a sip of tea, sighing into the mug. "The last time I saw her Mason was in preschool and Hannah had just picked him up. I was in the hall, in between classes when I saw them. She was frazzled and Mason didn't even recognize me. He was to into the sticker his teacher had put on his shirt while we talked anyway. She had pregnancy tests in her bags and she invited me in to talk. It was like nothing changed, but when I left, she never reached out or anything. I don't know if she just got busy preparing for the baby or what, but I knew it wasn't my fault. She was the one who didn't reach out. I tried to call her." Ned didn't know what to say, but just continued to listen. He could tell Katie had a lot on her mind, but he didn't know she had this much going. She'd lost not only her best friend but was now falling out of a three-year romantic relationship. That was a lot to go through. "But as I was saying before, tea doesn't calm me. I associate tea with my mother and so whenever I have some it's like I'm with her, sitting on the porch like old times."

"That's," he paused, smiling at her, "really beautiful Katie."

"Thank you for inviting me over Ned. I've never been to your new place." She said, looking around. "It's nice." She noticed the wall of pictures, different lines of yarn connecting different pictures. It was directly beside his desk, where a stack of files sat untouched. "Is this a case you're working?"

"Yeah," he followed her over there. "One of them. It's almost time for my review, and I'm up for my detective's badge, so I need to put together a portfolio of my best cases. I want to put this one in there, but I've never cracked it. I can't find a suspect, so that means I have to leave the case open and that will put me behind where I want to be."

"Can I take a look?" She asked, taking another sip of her tea.

"Go for it. Just don't tell anyone I let you if they ever ask," he laughed, itching his head.

He didn't know what to.

He wanted to talk to Katie about how he felt. Not his cases.

"So can you tell me what am I looking at?" She pointed to one of the photos, a gruesome picture of a man who strangled and mutilated. "I'm guessing from the amount of blood, it's a dead body. So I'm not going to touch it."

"There's been two murders in the last week," he sighed, stepping closer to explain. His eyes examined each photo as he pointed to one. "Mr. Henderson was the first, that's the picture you're looking at. At first we thought it was an abduction and murder because we found him alone two nights ago inside his home. His wife was nowhere to be found, but there were traces of her blood found at the scene. Last night," he paused, moving over, touching another photo. "We found Mrs. Henderson's body by the tracks on the edge of town. Her autopsy placed her death an hour before her husband's. Meaning the culprit had to be in their home somewhere between the time of eight and ten in the evening. We have no leads after that. They were a respected and loved couple left for dead."

"I know, they lived right next to us. My mother called me that morning they were found." She muttered. "They always had the best Halloween decorations on the block. Well, besides ours. They did have the best candy though."

"Weren't they the full size kind?" He looked over her.

"Hell yeah," she nodded, her grin spreading over her whole face. "Mrs. Henderson always made sure she had two full Reese's for me. Every year."

"She always gave me Snickers," he nodded.

"Did you talk to my parents?" She asked.

"They were at Aaron's basketball game, and so was I. I'd actually taken the night off because it wasn't a home game." He explained. "I got called in at the half." He leaned into her, finding her ear to whisper to her, noticing that she glanced over at him out of the corner of her eye. "They won the conference."

"I know. He's my brother." She said softly. "I called him after. To congratulate him and apologize for not being there."

"My partner was on the scene from the beginning and the only hunch he has is to stake out the house, hoping someone will return to the crime scene." He sighed. "I don't know where to look. I've looked through every piece of evidence and picture to this case. There's nothing I've missed. That I know about that is."

"Is there anything that you're leaving out?" She asked, looking at the pictures a little closer. "That could help me? I have a few hunches that could give you a bigger suspect pool, but I don't have much to go on." She moved to the side of the board about Mrs. Henderson's crime scene. She was moved to a separate location. What was special about that area? "Is there anything special about the location of the second body?"

"Not really," he sighed. "It's a pretty deserted place. A back road in about fifteen feet from the body, a conductor called it in when he came through on the tracks. "The only time anyone is out there is maybe for a high school party, but not in the winter. In the summer or fall."

She nodded, reaching out to touch the crime photo of Mrs. Henderson's finger. Her wedding ring was missing from her finger. She saw it yanked from her finger as she was discarded from the tailgate of a truck. Her slipper fell off as the man kicked the old woman's dead body deeper into the overgrown ditch. The man loomed over her body before he shoved the tailgate of his truck back up, locking it.

"She was dumped there not long after the murder. Maybe thirty minutes after he left the house." She explained. "He took her wedding ring. Did he take anything from the house?" She handed him the empty cup and grabbed the file from the table. "Like any of jewelry or maybe a watch from her husband?" She looked through the file, not seeing anything about stolen jewelry. "Looks like I'm gonna have to look into that myself..."

She tossed the file back to the table, sighing as she reached out, touching the picture of Mr. Henderson's body, his head slumped over his shoulders. He was tied to a dining room chair. At first, she was there with Ned, looking at the background of the photo, and the next she knew, she was bound to a chair and her hands were tied behind her back. She could see around the living room through Mr. Henderson's eyes. There was a shotgun on the couch beside him, she could hear the distant growl of a dog, the shouting of a man, the swoosh of a knife being waved in the air.

"Where are the jewels?" the man boomed from outside, the house shaking as he kicked the upstairs bedroom door down.

She moved through the house quickly, suddenly her world dark, her body shaking. She was under a bed, hiding. She must be living through Mrs. Henderson now.

"Tell me where the jewels are," the man was suddenly by the bed now,

He yanked her from under the bed, tossing her onto her back. The wind was knocked from her as she laid there, vision blurry as she sobbed in pain. Then she saw his face, covered by a ski mask. His skin dark, his eyes as black as the night. His hands were rough against her skin as he yanked the necklace from her neck, stashing it in his pocket. He grabbed something from behind his back next and without any warning, she felt an explosion of pain in her stomach.

His breath was warm against her face as he chuckled. Time slowed to a crawl as she felt the blade carve its way inside her, digging deeper. He breathed in as she gagged, tasting blood in her mouth as she slumped against the ground, feeling him shrug her to her side, the knife still buried in her gut. He kicked the knife, more blood spilling from her stomach and pooling on the floor. She choked, unable to breathe as he stood over her.

She could hear Mr. Henderson's voice in the distance, yelling for his wife, knowing he was downstairs and would never be able to help her, broke her heart. All he wanted to do was save his wife.

Blood pooled from her mouth as the man moved to her vanity, grabbing jewelry and stuffing his pockets. He threw unwanted items around the room, trashing the place.

She woke in Ned's arms a moment later, the feeling of the hardwood floor coming to her first.

Why was she on the floor? Wasn't she standing before?

"Katie?" He snapped his fingers above her face, smiling when she be finally opened her eyes. "Hey… you fainted, but I caught you." That explained the floor. "You were out for a few minutes. You scared me."

"I was there," she struggled to catch her breath, the taste of blood still lingering in her mouth. "In the house. With him." She sat up, still leaning on him as he grabbed a notebook. "I don't think this was intended to be two murders. I couldn't see anything at first because I was blinded by some sort of blindfold, but I could hear a dog barking and Mrs. Henderson downstairs. The killer was yelling about jewels. I moved through the house after that and was suddenly hiding under a bed, trying to keep quiet, but he pulled me out. I was so scared Ned... I couldn't breathe or feel anything but fear. He stabbed her and I choked on my own blood and it was terrible. He went for her jewels after, watching as she died on the floor."

"Okay," he grabbed a notepad, writing this down. "Was there anything else?"

"He left the knife buried in her and he wasn't wearing gloves. I felt his hands against my neck when he pulled her necklace off." She explained. "They were rough." She was lost in a fit of tears after, her fear still so present. She shook in his arms as he put the notebook down, holding her closer. "I couldn't see his face, I'm sorry."

"You did good Katie," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the back of her head. "Thank you."

She nodded, silent as she drew in a shaky breath. Her heart still pumping adrenaline.

Her phone rang next. Her mother.

"I gotta go check this out. Try and catalog what jewelry they had and start calling pawn shops in the area." He said, grabbing the notebook. He wrote the names of pawn shops he knew of below what she'd told him about her vision. "Thank you, Katie. I really do owe you one."

"You listened to my nonsense about Toby. It's the least I could do," she laughed, sitting up, letting him get up from the floor as she answered her phone. "Hey, mom. Yes, we're just finishing up. Okay? I'm headed back now. Oh. You're outside? Okay. I'll be right down. Yes. I'm getting up. Okay. Love you too. Bye." She shook her head as she stood, putting her phone in her back pocket. "My mother's waiting outside for me. We have to get back to the house so she can start dinner. I still have to unpack. And you don't owe me anything, Ned. Okay? Just come to dinner at the house tomorrow?"

"I'll be there." He nodded, grabbing her jacket and holding it out to her. "Here. Thanks again for coming by."

"I'm always down to solve mysteries," she winked, hitting his arm playfully before she took her jacket. "Even if it's credited to you in the end. It got my mind of all this drama with Toby and I thank you for that. I can enjoy my time at home a little more."

He stepped closer, three words still sitting in the back of his head, opening his arms for a hug. She looked at him with her warm eyes as if she could read his every want before walking into his warm embrace. He sank his face into her neck, breathing in her warmth and her shampoo.

She could feel the strength in his arms as he wrapped them around her, rubbing her back softly before he pulled back.

It was the quietest he'd ever spoken to her, but the words came from his mouth as he pulled back.

"I love you," he breathed.

She pulled her jacket on next, turning her head to him. "You what?" His word had been jumbled together, inaudible to her ears.

"I missed you, Katie," he corrected himself. "I really missed you."

"I missed you too. A lot." She smiled at him warmly. "Well," her phone lit up in her back pocket and buzzed. "My mother is summoning me again, so I must go. Good luck with the case. Let me know how it goes?"

"I will." He nodded, following her to the door. He still needed to do a few things around here before he left. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then for dinner?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "My mom wanted to have it tonight, but I wanted to just be home tonight. With my family. I didn't talk much yesterday. I want to today, but with just them. You know?"

"Totally understandable Katie," he nodded, laughing to himself. "Anyone would make the same decisions if they were in your shoes."

"Well, I better get going before my mom calls me again." She laughed, motioning that she should walk to the elevator. "It was really nice to talk to you. You always know how to cheer me up." She moved back to him, hugging him again. "I've missed being able to talk to you like this Ned. I really have. It's like having a big brother."

He smiled into the hug, not letting her see how much that comment hurt him. But maybe she was right. He was like a sibling, wasn't he? She twisted out of his hold after that and all he was left with was silky strands of her hair, slipping through his fingers as she turned away. He wanted to grasp hold of it, keep her there, pull her back to him.

But she wasn't his to keep yet, so he let her go.

* * *

When Melinda picked up her daughter (two days after she emotionally said no to her boyfriend of three years proposal) the last thing she expected was there to be a smile spread across her face.

She rolled the window down, laying her hand on the horn to get Katie's attention. "Hey! C'mon, I wanna beat your dad and get dinner started!" She yelled, rolling the window up.

"Sorry," Katie gushed, her face flush from the cold, but her mother knew better than to think that was the only reason. "Ned needed me to help him out with something."

"What kind of something?" Melinda prodded, driving slowly on the road.

"He was stuck on a case," she shrugged. "I had a vision when I touched one of the crime photos and so I gave him all the information I could. It took me a little bit to get my heart rate back down, so I'm sorry it took me so long. I wasn't planning on being there that long."

"It's fine. Your dad is picking the kiddos up. I was only wanting to get dinner starter. You know how it's like to be starving after school." Katie laughed and shrugged as Melinda nudged her side, trying to get her spirits up. She definitely remembered what it was like to come home from school starving. Lunch never did fill her up for long, even now. "I'll probably just make some sort of snack for everyone." Katie was oblivious to what her mother was saying, and Melinda caught on quickly. Something had to of happened with Ned. "What's up?" Melinda asked, looking over at her as she stopped at the stoplight. "How are you feeling Katie?"

Katie didn't answer, turning to look out the window at the sleepy town. It had snowed the morning she'd arrived, the snow blanketing the town.

The square was still covered in a thick untouched blanket of white, the statutes of the soldiers peeked out under their new white caps. In the middle, footsteps and paw prints crisscrossed each other around the labyrinth of paths. Kids ran throughout, throwing snowballs at each other, school having just got out not long before. Aside from the brown of the denuded trees, the only other color was that of the bright Christmas lights that were hung from the gazebo's roof.

They women drove in silence toward their destination, neither wanting to speak for now. Katie was trying to find the right words to answer her mother. And Melinda was waiting on Katie, knowing she'd answer her when she was ready to.

"You talked about Toby didn't you?"

Was what broke the silence between the two of them, bringing forth a difficult conversation. Melinda knew she was treading murky waters, but went forward anyway.

"Well," Katie finally spoke. "What else is there to talk about here?"

Melinda started to laugh and then stopped, shaking her head. "You know as well as I do that there's always something."

"Only if it's ghostly," Katie said.

"Or the murder that just happened," Melinda sighed.

"Well, that's not something I want to talk about," Katie said, not sure if she wanted to tell her mother yet. "Ned's on the case, you know."

Melinda nodded. "It's all the town is whispering about. It's not a nice topic, but on brighter notes, you know how the Gardiner's finally got pregnant? She had the baby. Well. Babies. Twins." Her lips quirked in a smile. "No one in that family has had red hair in generations."

"Bobbi Gardiner had red-haired twins?" Katie chuckled. "Funny, considering that before she got together with Taylor, she was with Patrick Wayne. And he has red hair." She paused, that information sinking in. "Oh god."

"It's not Patrick," Melinda assured. "He's been out of town for two years. But yes, it made everyone think."

"What does Taylor think? Is he okay with this?" Katie wondered.

Melinda shrugged. "If he isn't, he's given no indication."

And with that, the mother and daughter drove the rest of the way home in comfortable silence.

* * *

Katie had an almost blissful time that afternoon when she and her mother got home and her siblings arrived from school. It was so good to see them. It had been too long. Even if she just saw them this morning and the night prior. She'd been gone for so many months.

Something that her siblings all agreed with apparently. Emma barely recognized her, she was so young that Katie was almost a stranger to her because of all the time she hadn't spent at home.

That hurt.

Much more than Katie had even expected. But still. She was able to hold her baby sister and finally start getting to know her more. Talking to her, making her smile and giggling. It was so nice. Even when her mom stole her back.

Lana begged her to read aloud, remembering from the few times Katie had been able to visit that Katie did really funny voices when she read.

And Mack was overjoyed, almost tackling Katie with a hug, and Mack rarely showed that much emotion.

Her father squeezed her again, pressing a kiss to forehand like he always did.

"I've just missed you." Her father beamed. "I'm so happy to see you home, Bug."

She hugged him tighter, then going over to the door to pull her boots off, hanging her coat up last. "I've missed you too."

Aaron came in the door last, shrugging off the snow from his boots and nearly running into Katie as he walked in. He backed up and pulled his hat off. His cheeks were flushed red and he smiled as he saw Katie again.

"Sorry for running into you Katie, but I'm glad to see Toby let you out of the dungeons for a visit!" He chuckled as he closed the door. "Even if you've been here for two days. You usually don't stay a whole weekend if you come up alone."

"Hey!" Jim pulled him into a headlock, rubbing his hair into a mess. "He could still be your brother-in-law you know."

"Since when?" Aaron fought against his father, eventually getting the upper hand for a moment to get free enough for Melinda to notice and come back over with Emma.

"Dad," Katie sighed and crossed her arms. She hadn't planned on telling her siblings about Toby's big romantic gesture. "Really?" Her hand went to her forehead, rubbing the impending migraine she could feel coming on. "I wasn't going to tell them."

"It just slipped," Jim released Aaron before Melinda swatted him, standing between his two older children. "Sorry." He pressed a kiss to the back of Katie's head next, feeling her lean into him.

"It's okay," she sighed as Melinda stepped into the foyer. "You best leave Aaron be and take off your boots Jim. I need your help wrestling Lana and settling her down for dinner. I have to change Emma and feed her."

Jim hugged his wife, pulling her into a quick embrace. He kissed her next, stealing her chance to breathe. She relaxed into him as he stole Emma from her, pressing a kiss to the eleven month old's cheek. "Calm down Mel," he reassured her. "I've got Emma. Just go read miss Lana a book to calm her down. I'll get Emma fed while you get dinner started. Just make something simple."

"I'll think of something," Melinda nodded, kissing him again. Indulging in another kiss or two. She had time for that right? "I love you."

"I love you too." He said, cooing at Emma as she grinned at them both.

Jim disappeared up the stairs as Melinda went to the living room, leaving Katie with Aaron. Aaron pulled his coat off, hanging it up before he yanked his sneakers off, tossing them in the closet. He fixed his shirt and slid over to Katie, his socks damp from the mush of the snow by the doormat.

"What was that comment about?" Katie finally asked her brother. "I thought you at least like Toby."

"Not since you stopped coming around," he rolled his eyes and hugged his sister tightly, receiving a slap to the back of his head and a push for the comment, before she sighed and hugged him again. Even if she was annoyed by his comment, she loved her little brother. And missed him. "I've missed you, I guess." He slipped away after that and dashed up the stairs.

She shook her head as he disappeared. "I missed you too, brother." She said to herself, walking into the kitchen.

Mackenzie was examining the fridge for a snack as Katie made it to the back door. Eventually grabbing a cheese stick and bag of baby carrots before closing the fridge and walking over to Katie.

"Hey, we should watch a movie later." Mackenzie unwrapped her cheese stick as she smiled as her sister. "But not Charlie Brown. Something funny."

She laughed, walking toward the basement door, her sister following. "Okay, not Charlie Brown." She opened the basement door, flicking the light switch up. The light buzzed on above their heads, lighting up most of the stairs. "Something funny… okay, how about 13 Going on 30? Mom's just wrangling Lana and calming her down before she starts dinner, so we'll have plenty of time. Do we still have a copy?"

"I think it's on Netflix," Mackenzie shrugged. "We can watch it on the tv down here."

They walked down the rest of the stairs quietly, stopping to find the light switch once they got to the bottom, lighting up the rest of the room.

She still couldn't believe that the basement had been turned into Mackenzie's room. She had only imagined Aaron maybe stealing the space down here when he dabbled into music. She thought he'd make a band or something, but he grew out of it. It was Mackenzie's space now. It was a nice size basement with now carpeted floors and freshly painted walls. Mackenzie's bed was along the far wall, a nice lamp on a side table with a trophy and a book on top. A nearby dresser with a TV and DVD player and a desk near the front of the bed. There was an open space that leads over to the stairs where a bed was blown up and made by their dad the day before, a full bathroom on the left side by the bottom of the stairs.

"It still kinda smells like paint down here, but I sprayed some Febreeze this morning," Mackenzie muttered, finishing the cheese stick.

"Maybe we should light a candle," she suggested, pulling her suitcase by the bed. "I'm glad to be sharing a room with you and not one of the little ones."

"Me too. It has really sucked not having you around." Mack plopped on her bed, sliding her backpack off and turning to unzip it. "Halloween was weird. You would always take me trick-or-treating longer after mom and dad bring Lana and now Emma back." She pulled out her folder, going over to her desk and sitting down. "It sucked this year. I had to go through the baby haunted house."

"I'm sorry," Katie came over, hugging her sister. "I promise I'll make it up to you."

"You don't have to," Mackenzie shrugged. "You're older. It's different. Mom said that."

"That doesn't mean I can forget about you, which I didn't. I was always thinking about you guys. I was just busy with school and work." She shrugged.

It wasn't a lie.

She was working and going to school back in the city. She just wasn't coming home like she usually did because Toby always nagged. And then they fought. She let him take over her life. It wasn't always terrible.

Katie smiled and sat on the bed. She needed to relax. Get Toby off her mind. That was the only way she would ever make up her mind. She was happy to be in the company of Mackenzie, who had definitely matured for being eleven. Time spent with her sister was always time well spent.

"Dad brought down another dresser this morning so you wouldn't have to live out of your suitcases" Mackenzie spoke again, having put the folder away and come back to her bed. "I forgot to tell you."

"Sweet! I was wanting to unpack before we watched the movie." She explained, sitting back up. She unzipped it before standing and opening the top drawer. "Can I use the bathroom down here?"

"Yeah," Mackenzie smiled, looking up from the book she coloring in. She'd flopped onto her stomach earlier and brought colored pencils from her desk, coloring some sort of anatomy page in an assignment book, making sure to color it carefully, not pressing to hard. "There's a shelf in the shower and a corner by the sink you can use. And the middle drawer is empty under the sink."

"Okay. Thanks, Kenz." She started to unpack, being more organized than she usually would back in the city. Separating her underwear from her socks and tucking her tights and up there too before moving to the second drawer. Placing jeans and leggings and a few dressier skirts in there. "How have things been? I heard you did great at sectionals and have a meet coming up in early January. I'm really excited to come."

"Yeah, it's over in Stevensburg." Mackenzie grabbed the pamphlet, reading the inside. "I'm swimming a 500-meter freestyle and a 100-meter butterfly. I'm a little worried about the butterfly, because it's not my strongest stroke, but the freestyle, I've got that one in the bag."

"I can't wait to see you swim! It's been forever. You were just on the YMCA swim team the last I saw back during my freshman year. You were nine." She explained. "You swam a great backstroke and took home your first trophy that day."

"Best day ever," Mackenzie grinned, repositioning the trophy on her nightstand, placing the pamphlet there. "Mom and dad bought me two new books and gift card for my kindle. I spent it all on Candy Crush lives and a movie."

"That was back when you were obsessed with Candy Crush," Katie laughed, putting sweaters in the third drawer with a few other tops.

"I'm still obsessed. I spent all my summer savings from my lemonade stand." Mackenzie sighed, going back to her coloring. "I'm out of luck until Christmas and my birthday. Unless the snow melts tomorrow."

"Christmas is in six days. Be patient." She said, making a mental note to get her a gift card for one of gifts for Christmas. "Mom will probably get you one."

"I'm excited to see what is in my stocking," Mackenzie grinned. She did love Christmas, a little more than the rest of them. "And under the tree too, but mostly my stocking. I love all the little things I get."

"Me too! Mom, I mean, Santa is very good at picking out stocking stuffers." Katie said, knowing Mackenzie didn't believe in Santa, but still saying it in case there were any listening ears around.

"Yep. Santa," Mackenzie rolled her eyes, her attention going back to her coloring.

She shook her head as she stuffed two sweatshirts and a cover up in the bottom drawer before closing in, going to bring her body wash, shampoo and conditioner to the bathroom. She had her makeup bag tucked under her arm that she placed in the drawer by the sink, going back over to her suitcase to grab her toothbrush and toothpaste along with her hairbrush, putting that in the drawer too, but her toothbrush in the cup with Mack's.

There. All unpacked.

Besides her duffel. Which had her laptop and things she needed to hang up. She'd have to ask her mom about that later.

"Hey, ready for that movie?" Katie asked, plopping next to Mack on her bed.

"Totally!" Mack pushed herself up and sat against her headboard, grabbing the remote from the table beside the bed.

* * *

Melinda opened the oven, checking the casserole she was baking. It was coming along nicely, the top just starting to crisp as she closed the oven again. It needed a few more minutes.

"What's for dinner?" Katie asked, surfacing from the basement. She leaned against the door as it shut, her sweater swallowing her as she wrapped herself up in it. "God, it's freezing up here. I'm glad I wore my big sweater. It keeps me warm."

"I'll turn the heat up a few degrees… and we're having mac and cheese casserole and some roasted broccoli." Melinda smiled, going to turn the knob on the heat. She pushed the broccoli around the pan, soaking up the juices. She moved the broccoli to a serving dish and brought the pan to the sink, setting it in a sink full of soapy water. She then went to grab plates from the cupboard, giving them to Katie. "Will you set the table? I'll come around with silverware and the napkins after I pull the casserole from the oven."

"Sure," Katie took the plates from her mother, counting in her head how many plates for the table. "I need six."

She went to the dining room where Jim was entertaining Lana and Emma. Lana was patiently waiting in her seat for food while enthusiastically watching Jim make facial expressions to Emma as he fed her.

"Hey kiddo," Jim smiled as Katie set a plate in front of him.

"Hey dad," she set a table beside him for mom and then one next to hers. Moving around the table, she sat next to Lana who scooted closer to her. "Hey Lan."

"Will you make my plate?" Lana asked, leaning on her side.

"Sure," she moved Lana to her lap. "You can help me. You're three right?"

"Yes!" Lana wiggled her tongue between a space where her last tooth hadn't come in. "I'm very hungry sissy."

"I am too!" She whispered, winking at her little sister. "I love mac and cheese so so much."

"Me too," Lana squealed, causing Katie to laugh.

She missed her little sister. She hadn't seen her really since her first birthday. Lana raised her arms, settling her head on Katie's chest and hugging her. It was a warm and nice hug, making Katie miss Lana even more,

"Do you want me to read you a book after dinner?" Katie suggested, kissing Lana's head. She nodded eagerly, hugging her tighter. "Alright. I will. Promise." She moved Lana back to her chair, getting up to help her mother as she came in with silverware and napkin. "I'll get bring milk and the pitcher of water."

"I'll get glasses and the casserole. You get the serving spoon too?" Melinda asked, setting silverware and the cute little napkins with snowflake holders down by the plates.

"Yes mom." Katie signaled, already grabbing the spoon and setting it on the counter.

She grabbed glasses, four normal and two plastic.

She passed them around the table and went back for the water and milk, having to add ice to the pitcher in the fridge. Her mom pressed a kiss to her shoulder as she passed to grab the casserole and Katie grabbed the serving spoon and headed to the table, giving her dad her milk as she passed Aaron as he sat down next to dad.

Melinda sat by Aaron, setting the casserole as Katie sat by Lana. Who put the spoon in the mac and cheese, moving it around to spread the cheese around.

The family moved around each other as if no time had passed.

"Mackenzie," Jim called as he stood, walking toward the island to grab the salt and pepper and open the basement door. "Dinner's ready."

"Coming!" Her footsteps were heard as Mackenzie came through the doorway, hair in a thick braid after showering.

The movie had gone swell and Katie went upstairs while Mackenzie showered. Katie noticed Mack had changed into comfortable clothes for bed as she sat at the table, her dad passing the salt to Aaron. Katie served Lana and herself before passing the spoon to Melinda who served Aaron and Mackenzie and Jim before serving herself last. Everyone paused, each saying their own prayer to themselves before eating.

"How was the last day before break?" Melinda asked Aaron and Mackenzie.

"We watched Elf, like we do every year. We voted on Monday." Mackenzie sighed, sitting at the opposite head of her father, adjacent to Melinda and Katie. Mack grabbed the milk and poured herself half a glass. "But I wanted to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas."

"Teachers will usually go for a happy medium," Katie said. "It's what they teach us in in college. To just go where the middle vote is, unless there is an overall winner."

"That sucks," Mackenzie sighed.

"Aaron?" Jim asked, feeding another spoon of peaches to Emma. "Anything fun happen at school today?"

Emma squawked, taking the spotlight of the table for the moment.

"Oh, well hello there to you too miss Emma Faith." Melinda cooed, smiling at her. "Were we not paying enough attention to you?"

Everyone looked to her as she raised her hands into the air and blew bubbles through her lips. The family laughed as Emma struggled to pick up the goldfish, the reason for her loudness.

"Do you need help Emma?" Katie hummed, picking up two and giving her one in each hand. "There... is that better?"

Emma squealed, bringing one fish to her mouth and holding the other out to Katie.

"Oh, is this my thanks? Thank you Ems," Katie hummed, kissing Emma's cheek. Emma grabbed Katie's face and kissed her nose as she took the cracker from her chubby fingers, tossing it into her mouth. "Very tasty."

Emma's hands hit the tray next, banging on it as the family laughed.

"School was normal," Aaron finally said, Emma finally quiet as Jim poured more goldfish out for her. "I had a chemistry final and got a B after my lab partner was late. She had the notes for the experiment and it sucked having to wait to start." He sighed. "She'd forgotten to leave the notes the day before and overslept."

"That sucks," Melinda sighed. "I had that happen a lot in high school, but in college, it gets better."

Gym was really fun. We got to play basketball all hour." He forked a mouthful of casserole onto his spoon and held it near his face as he continued. "I creamed my two teachers with Tucker. It was great. We stayed through the next period because we had a free period and the gym was empty. The teacher emailed my study hall advisor."

"That's awesome. I loved being able to stick around in the library and write." Katie smiled.

"Yeah, but that's boring." Aaron ate his bite after as Katie sighed, sitting back.

"Whatever, my fun is my fun. That's all that matters." She chuckled afterward, taking a bite.

She'd missed her mother's comfort food. It was the literal best thing in the whole world.

"Just like Toby. No one else's opinion matters on how he treats you." Aaron scoffed, ruining the moment. "We all just have to sit by and watch you destroy yourself for him."

"Aaron, give your sister a break." Jim muttered. "She's in college. She's allowed to live however she wants with whoever she wants. If she loves Toby, she is going to marry him. If not, she'll figure out what she wants. She always does."

"Thanks dad," she smiled at her father, sitting back with her arms crossed after she finished her dinner. "I am definitely processing a lot of things right now. Aaron, why are you being so sour?"

Everyone was quiet as they ate, Katie waited on the answer from Aaron. Melinda was quiet, pondering what she wanted to say to her son. Why was he being such a crank today?

Jim nudged Aaron, who shook him off and looked at Katie.

"I'm annoyed because this is probably the last time we'll do this. All of us together at the table," he looked up at his sister, knowing how she was feeling about Toby. Knowing how she felt about being at home because he felt the same. The longing to be close, but also not too far away. "Before a holiday or whatever. If you and Toby get married, if that's what you decide you want, we might as well never see you again." He sighed and everyone was silent, even Lana who was chomping away at her mac and cheese. "I just don't see the point in trying to pretend anymore. You know you're not happy with Toby. He keeps you away from everyone because of some petty jealousy over Ned."

Ned's name burned through her and she closed her eyes, pressing her lips into a fine line.

"I didn't say yes to Toby," she explained again. "Not yet. And Ned? I don't know what my feelings about him have anything to do with this. Toby just doesn't like traveling. It stresses him out."

"I miss Ned," Mackenzie changed the subject. "He works a lot and doesn't come around as much like Auntie Delia."

Melinda stopped Mackenzie before she went further, a simple squeeze of her hand did the trick.

"He has a lot of work down at the police station," Jim said, keeping the conversation going on a more positive note. "I have a few buddies on the force with him and they say he's on one of the bigger cases."

"Yeah, I was helping him out earlier." Katie sighed, remembering earlier and that she hadn't told her mother anything about her vision. "I had a terrible vision."

"You never said anything about a vision," Melinda muttered, looking up from her plate as she took a bite, covering her mouth as she spoke. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Katie hadn't thought her mother would be upset that she hadn't told her right away. Should she have told her in the car before?

"You were close with Mrs. Henderson," Katie shrugged. "The vision was pretty..." she trailed off, biting her lip. "I just didn't think you'd want to hear how she was hurt. Ned was there. I'm fine. I helped him find a lead."

"Ned's always there," Aaron muttered under his breath, hoping no one was paying enough attention, but everyone was and everyone heard. "Why do you think Toby fucking hates when you come home?"

What was his point? Katie wondered.

It started to hit her.

Everything she'd felt when she'd sat with Ned in his apartment. When she first saw him again today in the shop. All the memories that came with him.

She loved Toby. She really did for time. She moved on after Ned turned her away again. She almost forgot everything Ned was to her. How she wanted to marry him and bask in every moment of it. She wanted to be his girlfriend. His lover. His wife and eventually the mother of his children.

He was always there for her, when she needed him most. Aaron was right.

"Aaron, that's quite enough out of you. If I hear you talk back to anyone again, your Xbox is mine until the new year." Melinda's fist shook the table as it his the hardwood and that was that. Aaron was quiet, shoving food into his mouth and the topic was dropped. "Grandma Faith will be in town on Monday. We're blowing up a bed for her in Emma's nursery. Christmas is next Friday." Everyone listened as she spoke, quietly eating. "I'm going to go to the mall for a few last minute gifts on Tuesday so grandma can watch Emma and Lana. Would any of you kids like to come with?"

"I would," Katie smiled. "I have a few things I need to get."

"Me too," Aaron sighed. "Hey dad, do you think we could talk after dinner. I have to get something for Jenna for Christmas. I have no idea what to get. I'm going over to her mom's for dinner for the holiday on Thursday, is that alright?"

"As long as your home by a decent hour, I don't see why you shouldn't be able to go over there." Jim said, looking to his wife.

"Yeah. That's fine." Melinda said, finishing her plate.

"And we'll talk gifts while you help me with the dishes," Jim said, scooping the last bite into his mouth. "Delicious dinner Mel. I loved it."

Aaron nodded, not really caring about being pulled into dish duty to have some alone time with his dad. Jim worked a lot, everyone understood and loved him for it. It still sucked, but he tried as much as he could to still be there for everyone.

"Thanks, babe," Melinda smiled at Jim, nudging her foot up his leg from across the table. She missed her husband. He finally had some time off, that he'd saved up for the holidays like he always did. "It's always nice to have a good cheesy dinner once and while and I knew Katie wanted something good and homey."

"It was perfect." Katie grinned, settling into her chair. "Ready for that book Lana?"

Lana nodded, sitting up on her knees. "Can I be excused? I ate all my food."

"Sure baby," Melinda smiled and Katie helped Lana off her chair.

Lana quickly ran over to the bookshelf as Katie grabbed empty plates, having four and going to put them in the sink. She went to the living room, cozying up with Lana and taking the book she chose.

Are You My Mother? By P. D. Eastman. One of Melinda's all time favorites to read to all of the kids.

Lana always loved the way Katie read it to her because she was like her daddy. Katie had loved it when Jim read to her too when she was little, but as she got older she began to be fond of her mother reading chapter books to her. As Mackenzie did too now.

"I'm done too." Mackenzie said, standing with her plate and glass, grabbing Katie's too. "I'm gonna go watch holiday cartoons in the living room once Katie's done reading to Lana."

"Okay, make sure Lana will like it too." Melinda smiled as Mackenzie nodded, standing and stopping to hug her middle daughter before she left the room.

Melinda moved past Mackenzie as she left the room, going to Jim. She kissed her husband, who pulled her to his lap. She lingered there for a moment before Aaron cleared his throat and Emma called for her.

"Mamamamama," Emma sang, her hands tapping her tray table on her highchair. "Mamamama."

"Yes yes Emmabear," Melinda's attention turned to the eleven-month-old, doting on her. "Mama is here… daddy is very distracting. I'm sorry." She giggled, feeling Jim's hands on her back, rubbing her sides. She cleaned Emma's face with a wipe that Jim grabbed from the container nearby him, as she sat on Jim's lap. After cleaning her and the tray, she took her from the highchair and held her. "Hi my beautiful baby girl… did daddy feed you all kinds of goodies? Did you have a good time with daddy?" She bounced her in her arms as she turned to Jim. Emma touched her dad's face as he leaned into kiss both Emma's head and Melinda's cheek. She then kissed him fully, capturing his lips for a moment of two before Emma squeaked at her mother, as if she was telling her all about her time with Jim earlier. Melinda laughed, tapping her husband's face. "Later my love… we'll talk, okay?" She smiled, knowing they'd get their chance to be alone once everything died down and everyone settled for bed. "And I promise... you'll have all of my attention baby."

"I know," he captured her lips lazily between his, kissing her deeply before he let go of her waist.

She moved off his lap as he stood to help clear the table with Aaron, who complained about their PDA.

Emma continued to babble to Melinda's listening ears as they walked to her playpen. Melinda always loved to listen to baby talk, whether it was with Katie all those years ago or now with Emma. Emma blew bubbles between her lips and grabbed her mother's face with chubby little fingers. She was still so little for eleven months, other than her fingers and feet which were a little chubby. She didn't speak much other than mama and dada. Maybe saying bubba if Melinda pumped instead of breastfeeding her. She did say cookie the other day when Mackenzie shared a piece with her.

Melinda smothered her daughter with kisses as she set her down in the playpen. She gave her a stuffed pig, which Emma loved and squeezed tight to her chest as she sat in her playpen.

Turning on her heel, she saw her only son clearing the table, Jim had just left the room and she could see him out of the corner of her eye in the kitchen.

"What's up with you lately?" Melinda asked as she came back into the dining room, crossing her arms.

"Nothing mom," Aaron sighed. "I'm just over everyone acting like Toby isn't a problem."

"Alright..." She sighed, talking quietly so that the little kids wouldn't overhear them. "Talk to me then." She leaned against the table next to him, touching his arms as held two plates and all of the silverware on top, Jim having took all the glasses and serving dishes to the sink. "Aaron, stop clearing the table and talk to me."

"I was being honest. Are we supposed to let her marry that asshole?" He sighed as he set the plates down, looking at his mom. "I thought I was being the nice brother by telling her. She deserves better."

Melinda looked over at her oldest, who was sitting with Lana and also Mackenzie, who nearby listening. Katie was halfway through Are You My Mother?, voices and all. Lana was laughing, Mackenzie was also giggling softly while she searched the movie channels. Lana however was clutching to Katie in almost tears as if she was telling her the funniest story she'd ever heard.

Melinda knew she'd done a good job. That Katie would preserve.

Katie would find her person. Her place. She always did.

"Don't you think I know that? I'm the mother in this equation and you're my son, Aaron. Katie is my daughter." Melinda whispered. "I love her more than anything and I know Toby is stealing her away from me. I hate him for it. She knows that. She hates herself for being away so long from all of us and I hate that she can't forgive herself when I have. She's growing up. Why do you think she's home? I don't think it's just some temporary thing." She took the dishes from table, needing a reason to be alone with Jim for a moment now. "I think she may find a place here and transfer. We were talking about what she'd do if she says no to Toby."

Aaron hated when his mother was right. Which was all the time. It sucked.

He looked at her and shook his head, hugging her.

"She always figures everything out. I know. I'll apologize." Aaron muttered, letting his mother take all the dishes from him so he could grab the rest off the table. "And I'm sorry for being so rude at the table..."

She smiled at him before she left, kissing his forehead and squeezing his shoulder. She loved her little boy just as much as she loved Katie and the rest of her kids. They were her everything, and so was Jim.

She couldn't see herself with a better life than the one she had.

"You'll figure everything out one day too," she reassured him. "I'm gonna bring these to your father. Stay here, unless you want an eyeful."

She snuck away into the kitchen after that and Aaron lingered in the kitchen before she came back, knowing his parents all too well. He did not want an eyeful, his mother was right about that. She appeared a few minutes later, her cheeks redder than ever with a bottle of wine and a pep in her step.

"Your father wants you in there," she said, her grin spread across her whole face which only came after she'd been alone with his father. "Will you watch a movie with Mack and Lana while I talk to Katie once you're done? Mack should be fine alone until then. I just want to talk to Katie and I know it's gonna be a long conversation."

"Sure mom," Aaron nodded, grabbing the last fork and putting it in the stack of glasses he had. "I'll watch the holiday special. Just make sure Katie's okay and that she does the right thing."

"She will. I raised her. I raised all of you kids, with your father, to be the best you can be. You're only seventeen, Aaron. Trust me, Katie will figure out what she wants." She explained to him. "And it will be whatever she wants. It's her decision."

Tonight was going to be the first of a slew of great nights for her daughter. She just knew it.

Melinda stood in front of her daughter with one hand outstretched and the bottle of wine in the other.

"C'mon. It's time we talk," Melinda said and pulled Katie to her feet.

"Your room?" Katie asked, stretching her back and legs, her sweater sliding up and over her leggings, showing her toned stomach for a moment before she pulled it down and walked over to her mom, taking the bottle and reading the label. "This is a good year. I had a '03 last month and it was kind of dry, hoping for this '02 to be better. Juicier. Fruitier would be the better word."

"I thought we deserved it," Melinda went over to check on Emma, rubbing her back softly. She was growing up so fast. It was hard to think she'd done this with five kids now. "I have so much to do over this next week and you have a lot on your mind."

She had to go help Katie now.

Her oldest.

Her first baby.

"Yes, lots on my mind." She sighed and went toward the stairs. "That's for damn sure."

Melinda followed, her ears and heart open and ready to help her daughter.

* * *

It was soon two hours later, the wine long gone.

Melinda was lost into a fit of giggles, a warmth present in her cheeks and spin in her head. The wine was definitely affecting her. Katie too. She was laying next to Melinda, laughing too. They were talking about Toby. About how funny he was, a side Melinda hadn't seen more as often as Katie would like.

"I love him," she sighed. "But things are different now. He's all about the future and how we have to settle down. And I want that, don't get me wrong, but right now I just want a consensual committed relationship. I have a degree to finish and a career to build. I mean, I could get married right now, but it's just…" She sighed, grabbing her glass and drinking the rest of the wine. "I don't know. There's just something missing between us."

"Is there someone? Someone that makes you feel that missing something?" Melinda asked, wanting to know deeper into her daughter's heart. "Come on," the mother pleaded, pulling on her daughter's arm. "You can tell me anything, Katie."

She had just said she loved Toby, maybe enough to marry him, but at the same time, she was missing something.

Could there be someone else?

She knew she'd always love Ned. He was her first crush. He was Ned. She'd seen the way she'd looked after seeing him, while he was there at the store. She knew how he made her heart feel whenever he was around period. There was a forever redness present in her cheeks, a spring in her step, her heart fluttered and skipped around him.

When she was twelve, it was just a childhood crush. She hung around and doted on him. She thought he was cute and he had always been there. He took advantage of it at first. Being that he was sixteen and didn't want to get up to refill his soda if he was at the Clancy house. Katie would bring him anything he asked her for. And if Katie needed him. He was there. Always a phone call away.

If everyone was being honest, Ned always was a little too into her for being older. For being practically her older brother.

Nothing came of it until she graduated. That summer was different.

Her mother knew that. She'd told her that much.

Ned was single and Katie had turned eighteen. She knew her mother always wondered what had happened between them. Why Katie had left brokenhearted and scorned. Why everything changed when she met Toby.

She surrounded herself with him and soon, she stopped coming home because he didn't like traveling. They visited, sometimes, but it was rare. Usually only Christmas and her birthday. And maybe she came home once or twice in the spring or summer, but very seldom.

And she knew Melinda didn't like going into the city with the little kids. It was tough enough to drive to the grocery store, let alone the two hours to see her. They tried, but it was always pushed back.

Katie came up whenever she could, always with Toby. Even if he complained, a lot. She always wanted him to come with, so they could enjoy the away together. She'd nag him and they'd fool around in the basement. She'd hang with her siblings for a week and Toby would take her out. He always made the most of the drive, trying to fool around with her. And even though she protested, she always let him sneak his way into her pants, even if she was driving.

But she'd never tell her mother that.

That was only something for her and Toby to know. And Hannah. Hannah knew about that too.

"Have you talked to Hannah lately?" It was like her mother sensed her thought.

She was quiet as she stared at the ceiling, trying to make sense of how she could let their relationship slip. They were Hannah and Katie. Best friends since they were in the womb. Melinda had met Hannah's mother in a breathing class. They'd become friends because they had to pair up, both of their husbands not able to attend the first class. They soon learned they shared a due date, even though Hannah would be born a month early.

"I haven't spoken to her in a long time," she muttered.

"How long is long between you two?" Melinda giggled, thinking she was meaning a few days at most.

Katie hadn't seen Hannah since she'd ran into her in the hallway of their apartment complex, with Mason on her hip and hair half up. She looked radiant, definitely glowing and pregnant by the look of the bag from Walgreen's. Pregnancy tests. Four of them.

Hannah had invited Katie in for a cup of tea. They'd talked for three hours and parted ways. That was nearly a year ago.

She had a newborn now. She'd seen the birth announcement on Facebook. A baby girl born in October. They hadn't picked a name yet. She'd commented on the post and Hannah had replied about getting together soon, but nothing came of it. Nothing ever seemed to these days.

The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face.

God, she missed her best friend. Hannah was there for every single important moment for the last twenty years of her life. How could live without her? She was Hannah. Her Hannah. Her best friend. The better half of her.

"What happened? Did you two fight?" Melinda asked, pulling her daughter close.

As much as she tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from her throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. She pressed her face further into her mother's arms, her voice melted into her mother's shirt as she held her. The muffled sobs wracked against her chest. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. All she could feel was her mother's hands rubbing her back as she laid there.

"Oh Katie," Melinda whispered. "You just need to cry... you have been holding everything in. It's okay baby." She pressed a kiss to her hair, crying softly too. Melinda hated to see her daughter in pain. "I can talk to Hannah if you need me to. I just saw her at the store the other day. She didn't seem upset with you, more concerned."

As her mother stroked her hair, her breathing slowed. Her tears had stopped, leaving only their tell-tale wet tracks down his face. Melinda could soothe her like no-one else.

"Nothing happened mom," she sighed. "She had two kids and moved home. I'm going to school and live with Toby. Everything's changed and it seems like I'm the only one who hasn't done anything with my life. Brandon and Hannah got married and started a family... what have I done?"

"You got accepted into one of the best teaching programs in the country," Melinda explained, raising her eyebrow. "You go to NYU and live in an apartment with your boyfriend who you met your first day there. You're the envy of a lot of people."

She sighed, the most relaxed smile on her face as she thought about what she wanted to say next. What was missing from her life?

It all came back to Toby. How would things have gone if she hadn't met him? Would she and Hannah have still parted ways? Would she have stayed in the city as long as she did?

She smiled as Ned came to mind.

Would she have gotten with Ned? Would she still feel how she did for him?

She couldn't hold it in any longer, even if she was only thinking.

She wanted Ned.

She loved him.

How could she tell her mother that?

She grabbed the bottle, finding it was almost empty, pouring the last little bit from inside into her mouth.

"Hey, I wanted that!" Melinda laughed. "You thief."

"Yes, well, I finished it," she tried hold in her laughter, but her chest shook as she pressed her lips to a fine line. "We should have another… and maybe then I'll let you ask the question you're holding back from me."

"Your father is in the kitchen," Melinda snickered, grinning and blushing at the thought of him. "I'd have to get past him for another bottle and I can't do that."

Katie looked at the clock, seeing that it was nearly nine. "He's probably not in the kitchen." She looked back at her mother, sighing. "That's a lot of time to be doing the dishes. We've been talking since like seven."

"You can do it…" Melinda sang, the alcohol pushing her deeper into the pillow. "Because I cannot… I cannot see your father right now. I will not win."

"I wouldn't win if it was Ned either," she laughed and then looked at her mother seriously. "So are you gonna ask me that question?"

"Are you in love with Ned?" Melinda asked as the doorbell rang.

Katie sat up at the sound of the door, wanting to separate herself from this question. She did not want to tell her mother yet. She would make her act on her feelings, and that was not something she could do yet. She didn't know what she would say to Ned, and that was something she needed to know.

"Nope," Melinda grabbed Katie's forearm and pulled back down. "Your dad will get it."

The doorbell rang again Katie heard her father open it and close it. Someone must've come in.

"Mom," she spoke softly. "I love him."

There. She said it. Out loud. For her mother to hear.

Melinda's cheek spread into a grin. She knew it. And Katie did too. The was just the first time she'd ever said it out loud.

A knock sounded at the bedroom door and the women looked as Jim popped his head in.

"Hey you," Melinda's face flushed as she saw him. "Who was at the door?"

"Ned," Jim entered. "He's here for you Katie. Said he wants to talk to you."

"I can't do this," she looked at her mother.

"Do what?" Jim sat on the bed, grabbing the empty bottle.

"Go get'em tiger." Melinda wiped away a final tear that fell. Melinda pondered what she'd say next, knowing Katie didn't need her father knowing the biggest confession of her entire life. "You know exactly what I mean too."

"Yeah," she sighed and sat up, pushing herself off the bed. She needed a minute as she swayed, gaining her clear mind and walking to the door. "Wish me luck."

"You know I'm always in your corner Katie," Melinda said as Katie hesitated to open the door, her hand on the knob. "Just tell him the truth baby."

"I will," she opened the door, peeking back at her parents. "Don't do anything while I'm gone."

"No promises," Melinda said, Jim's hand already on her thigh. She was a goner. Katie already knew. "You know I have absolutely no self-control around your father."

"Yeah, I know." She said over dramatically, pulling the door closed behind her.

It took her five minutes to go down one step. She stepped down against, crouching down to see where he was.

He was standing there by the door, still in uniform, his hair ruffled as though he'd run his hands through it all day. He had about twenty times when she was with him earlier. He did it when he couldn't think when all of his thoughts clogged in his head and he just needed to breathe and stick it through. His hand rose, fixing his hair in the nearby window. He hadn't seen her peeking.

She stood before he did, her hand covering her mouth as she grinned. Seeing him, did that.

God, she needed to get herself together before she kept walking.

"I need to tell him," she whispered, trying to relax.

She walked down to the landing, going down the rest of the stairs quickly once he saw her.

"Hey," he grinned as she stepped down the last step. "I wanted to talk to you."

"What's up?" She breathed, her courage slipping as he smiled at her. "I didn't think I'd see you again until tomorrow."

She couldn't think straight when he did that. How was she supposed to tell him she loved him?

"Would you like to go for a drive?" Ned asked. "I promise you won't be gone long."

"Sure, just let me pull my jacket on." She stepped past him, grabbing her coat and zipping it. She grabbed her hat from her pocket and pulled her booties on last before facing him. "Sorry for taking so long to get down here. I was talking with my mom."

"That's fine. I'm not in a hurry." He stepped backward, hands in his pockets as he reached to open the door. "I just wanted to tell you I found a lead. A pawn shop alerted the department about some of the jewels that we listed as MIA from the house and may have a suspect on camera." He explained, letting her step out. "We're running his face through the database. We haven't gotten a hit yet."

"That's great." She swayed as she tried to sit on the steps. She was still a little tipsier than she'd thought. "I'm proud of you."

"Katie," he chuckled. He said her name so smoothly, latching onto the arm and pulling her closer. There was something in the way he said it to her, a softness as he smiled at her. "How much did you drink at dinner?"

"Not dinner. After. With mom and we shared a bottle," she snickered, holding onto him as they went outside. "We had a difficult conversation. Many actually. We finally really talked about everything."

"Like what?" He asked, interested. "Toby and stuff?"

"Kind of," she sighed. "We talked about everything. She's my mom. There's a difference in how comfortable I am with her versus Hannah. My mom made me think about Toby and he deserves the truth and so do you…"

She didn't know where to go with this.

She had never proclaimed love to someone before. Was it supposed to be this hard?

"Where do I fit in?" He asked, genuinely wanting to know. Where did he fit into her life? Was Toby leaving? "Don't I deserve to know?"

"You do," she breathed, stopping him. "That's why I'm here. Why I didn't say yes to him."

He looked at her.

Was this happening? Was she finally going to do this?

"Katie, what are you saying?" He just held her gaze, knowing what she was about to say and only counting the moments to it.

This was just what he needed. He loved this woman and she would better him.

She breathed in the air around her and stepped closer to him. "What I'm trying to say here is that I love you. I always have. From the moment I saw you at my graduation, after all that time of crushing, I'd gotten over you. I could've moved on and been normal, but I knew."

She stood there on the front porch, her heart on her sleeve and she hoped he felt the same.

"I knew it was you," tears spilled from her eyes. "I just knew."

"I love you too," he breathed, looking at her. "I've wanted to tell you since the moment I saw you back home."

His breath quickened when she stepped flush against him, lifting her face to his. Their mouths hovered near each other uncertainty before she pressed his lips to hers. Warm air fanned out over her face as he exhaled sharply, warming her as the wind whistled around them.

She'd almost forgot they were outside her parent's house, his truck a step away, but then he parted his own lips slightly to pull her top lip in between his. She curled her trembling hands in his jacket; warmth spread out through her body from where his lips touched her.

She wanted to feel that hunger again, the one she got when he kissed her. It was something that lacked whenever she was with Toby. Passion lusted her up to where she wrapped her arms around his neck, she thrust her tongue into his mouth earnestly, stroking his tongue, tasting him. His hands splayed over her hips and pulled her closer, their lips slanting together wetly as he matched the ferocity of her kiss. He swallowed her whimper, returning the sound with a low moan of his own.

"Katie, what are we doing?" He breathed, relaxing against the truck door.

"It's really cold," she whispered, still tucked inside his arms, his arms and coat both warming her. "Take me for a ride, Officer Banks?" Her finger hooked his jacket closer and she kissed him, pressing herself into him. "I want to be alone with you."

"If you call me that again I might actually have a heart attack," he laughed, kissing her. "C'mon, I want you to be mine, but you're still his Katie. I can't pretend like he's not waiting for you to come home to him. Like he didn't propose to you on Wednesday night."

She shifted her weight back onto her flat feet as she thought about what he'd said.

Ned was right.

"If it had been you," her words were so soft, he yearned to hear them. "If you'd asked me to marry you. I wouldn't have hesitated. I would've said yes, Ned."

He hugged her, whispering something to her and kissing her lips one last time before opening the truck's door. His hands touched hers as she held her phone. "I'm here for you and I love you," he said, helping her up in the cab. "You just need to tell him first."

"I know need to tell him." She sighed as he popped up on her screen. "Of course, he's calling me," she thought out loud, furrowing her brow. "Perfect."

She breathed and answered it. She had no idea what she was going to say.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Just a fair warning… shit is about to go down between Toby and Katie and I apologize for whatever sadness may occur below. Lots of love xx Mariah**

* * *

Katie sat there, phone pressed to her ear for a while before she said anything, just listening to the sound of his voice. He was still apologizing.

Ned had started to drive. They had gotten a few blocks down from her parent's house when she finally found something to say.

"Stop apologizing," she said, her palm pressing into her forehead. "It's not going to change anything."

"I'm just sorry I didn't understand that you needed time until now." Toby sighed.

She could imagine him now, nursing his second beer on the couch, looking through the channels.

What she couldn't see was herself, Katherine Ann Clancy, an English major, and writer, but was running out of words over Toby. She didn't know how to tell him she didn't want to come back to New York. That she came to a decision.

She's pretended for too long that his actions haven't fallen short. It's never been easy to love him, but one thing she's sure of is that they aren't right for each other.

"Katie," the phone crinkled. "What are you thinking?"

"Funny you ask," she muttered.

"Just tell me," he said. "I can take it. I'm a man Katie. I proposed to you and I deserve an answer."

"The answer is I can't marry you, Toby. The more I dwell on this, the more I feel right about my decision." She tried her best to convey how she felt, but be as informative as possible. "There was a time when I would've said yes, but I'm not the same person I was then."

"I deserve to see you again." He replied. "I'll come to Grandview. Bring you the rest of your stuff. You took most of your clothes."

"Yeah. I wanted to be prepared." She sighed. "I guess I can agree to that. Somewhere lowkey, how about Lento's? When are you coming?"

"I'll come once the weekend's over. On Monday," she heard him open a new beer, drinking it. "just so I can make sure I get all of your stuff." He stretched his sentence out, meaning he'd already started. Not on purpose, but he'd pulled memories out. Pictures, that sort of thing. "I hope you made the right choice."

"I did Toby, and I am sorry if this hurts you. I do still care about you." She explained. "Even if we aren't together anymore."

"It's hard to explain how I feel. I am losing a piece of my life that's been there for three years. I love you and you still don't believe in us enough to marry me." He sighed. "I'm done trying to keep you here."

"Toby," she rubbed her forehead, feeling Ned's hand on her thigh. He caught her attention as her first tear feel, his thumb catching it. "I wish there was a better reason for this, but it's simple. I'm not in love with you anymore and I can't marry you if I'm not." She paused, but Toby muttered something but it was just too garbled for her to care. "I thought you deserved the truth."

Ned pulled over, turning his hazards on and hand her hand. She dropped her phone as he squeezed her hand, leaving her phone laying her lap. Toby had nothing to say to her yet.

He probably sat in their living room, drinking beer like he had been the past few months, watching sports. Beer cans always surrounded his chair, take-out littering as well. He hadn't shaved or showered since she left and he couldn't bring himself to do anything.

He missed her so much. He hadn't realized how much she meant to him until she was gone. It was too late now to fix anything.

"Katie," Toby said. "Are you there?"

Meanwhile, she was staring at Ned, her mind completely tuned to him. One hand cradled hers while the other reached out to cup her cheek.

"Are you good?" He asked.

"Not really," she whispered, picking up her phone. "But I have to do this."

She felt Ned's hand squeeze her knee, his eyes searching hers for any sign of distress. He was always so protective of her, checking on her whenever he could. She loved this man so much more than she ever loved Toby.

"Toby," she spoke, hoping he didn't hear anything. She should've muted the phone. "I'm sorry, but I can't... I just can't." She cried, her tears falling down her face.

"Yeah, whatever Katie. I'll see you on Monday with the rest of your stuff." Toby hung up.

"Why do I feel like the worst person in the world?" she sighed, throwing her phone in her purse.

"You feel that way because you're a good person," he whispered, leaning across to hug her the best he could. "That's one of the things I love most about you." He pulled away slowly, but just enough to run his finger across her cheek.

"Thank you, Ned. That means so much to me." She whispered, smiling.

He smiled and glanced down at her lips again. "Can I kiss you?" He asked.

She nodded slowly before he kissed her on the lips. He held her close, his hands wrapped around her tightly, even as he pulled away. She beamed at him, wanting more, but needing to be somewhere more private, and bigger. Not in his truck. Preferably his apartment where they could be warm, comfortable, and completely alone.

"I want you," she whispered, running her fingers up his neck and through his hair "I want you so bad, but I need to get him off the phone first. Get us to your place…" She pulled him close, kissing him again. "And then I'm all yours."

"Yes. I want you so badly Katie," his voice was low, full of lust as his lips met with her neck, marking her before kissing her and turning to resume driving. "You're all I've been thinking about."

She laid back into her seat, watching him drive with a smile on her face. She couldn't believe she was with Ned and they were talking about each other like this. He'd been thinking about her? Like that?

God, that made her legs quake.

"We'll be fine," Ned reached across to grab her hand, squeezing it. He'd turned into the parking lot behind his apartment building, finding himself a spot and shutting the truck off. "Come on, let's get upstairs before it gets colder in here."

They made it upstairs in a jiffy, walking through the front door of his apartment. She turned the lights on as she took her coat off, pulling her boots of next. She removed her hat and gloves, putting them in her coat pockets before sighing and going to sit on the couch. Ned sat by her, settling into the seat and not speaking.

"You okay?" He said, finally breaking the silence. His hand touched her thigh, moving down to her knee, squeezing it. "I don't want to move too fast unless you do too."

There was no response, she only settled into him, her lips pressing a kiss to his neck. "Trust me, I want to," she said after a few moments of silence.

She didn't know what she wanted to do. Where was she supposed to go from here? She never made the first move when she was with Toby. Toby always kissed her first and pinned her down. Sometimes he even just came up from behind her in surprise, his hands and lips wandering over her skin.

As Ned wrapped his arm around her, she tried to push the other man from her head and kissed him. She kissed him desperately, clinging, her arms holding him to her so tightly he thought she might break him. And he kissed her back with an eagerness that took him by surprise. This was the kiss he had been dying for from her. No people around, no one to know, but them.

She felt the warmth spread in her belly, heating her through and making her toes curl. Her fingers dug into his skin in her attempt to get even closer. He broke her kiss and heard her whimper slightly as he pressed his lips neck. Her fingers tangled in his hair, bringing him closer still. He brought his forehead to hers, smiling at her as they sat there.

She looked into his eyes, searching them for what she always saw. The softness, the kindness that was entirely him enveloped her. "Ned, please." She said the words so softly; such a quiet plea for him drove him mad.

His lips were on hers again, kissing her, his hands in her hair, on her breasts, tugging at the waistline of her pants. He could not stop touching her in his frenzy, and she didn't want him to. For once, she wanted to lose herself in this. Completely forget about all other thoughts. She wanted to lose herself in him, with him, because for once she knew there was nothing to worry about.

He broke their kiss, leaving her clinging to him, wanting more, before he stood, holding his hand out for her.

"C'mon," he smiled, winking at her. "Let's take this to the bedroom."

"I'd like that," she smiled, taking his hand and letting him pull her to him, walking with him to his room.

* * *

Katie rolled over, expecting to find the warmth of Ned's body next to hers, but instead found empty sheets. They smelled like him and she pressed her face into his pillow, her eyes straining against the bright sun.

What time was it?

She rose her head slowly, rubbing her blurry eyes clear to look at the time on her phone. It was nearly ten in the morning and a wide smile spread across her face as she thought about last night. Everything had changed between Ned and Katie the previous night. Since her homecoming a few days ago, they had been slowly growing back together, leading up to the moment last night, when the hunger took over and there was nothing to stop them.

He brought her to his room and the rest was history, their clothes falling off and their bodies moving together. It had been perfect.

She touched a love bite left on her hip and pulled the blanket further around her, cocooning herself. She could smell the food Ned was making for them, hearing the clattering of plates and the sound of coffee being poured.

She knew she could call her mother, knowing her father occupied her long enough last night, but she'd start calling soon.

She reached over for her phone, seeing that she had ten missed calls. Five from mom. Five from dad. Several text messages too, mostly from her mother. One from her dad, just saying:

_I know you're with Ned and I'm not worried. Just call in the morning Bug. You know how your mom can get._

She laughed internally as she read her mother's text messages. The final one actually making her laugh out loud.

_If you're still with Ned, there better be risque details in the morning._

Oh her mother would be proud. Definitely more than a few risque details came to mind. She couldn't wait to tell her all about it.

Ned came through the door a second later, clad in only his boxers, a cup of steaming coffee in his hand. She grinned as she saw the love bite on his collarbone, blushing at herself.

She sent a quick text to her mom, letting her know she had spent the night at Ned's and would give her all the details when she got home.

"Morning sleepy head," he pressed a kiss to her lips, giving her the cup. "Breakfast is almost ready. I thought I'd wake you, but you're up. I'll be right back."

"Thanks for the coffee. Do you need any help?" She asked, bringing the cup to her mouth, tasting the milk and sugar on her tongue as she took her first drink and rejoicing that he knew how much to put in her coffee for her. "Mmm, just the way I like it."

"I've got it covered," he smiled, kissing her again. "Just relax."

She obliged, setting her cup on the side table and settling into the bed as he left the room. She'd never had the luxury of breakfast in bed with Toby. He'd always told it was stupid. He hated eating in bed and hated when she brought even a glass in the room.

He came back a second later, two plates in hand. He gave her one and then went to his side, moving in next to her.

As much as she'd love to dig in, she set her plate on a smooth part of the blanket and slipped out of bed, in only her panties and walked into the bathroom, quickly dousing her face with water. She needed a little wake up before eating.

She leaned against the frame of the door to the bathroom, smiling at him. His eyes met with her eyes first, then drifting to her nipples which had hardened from the cold air, her arms folding in front of her chest.

"There's something I have to tell you," she muttered, walking toward the bed. Her feelings for him scared her. "And it's that I don't regret a single thing we've done. No matter how fast this has happened. I love you and last night…"

"Was amazing," he finished her sentence, squeezing her hand and in return, letting her know she didn't owe him an explanation. That she didn't need to explain herself. He loved her and all he wanted was her love in return. "I hope you thought so too."

"I did," she blushed, sitting beside him, laying her head on his shoulder. "I hadn't felt that way in a long time."

"That makes me happy," he whispered, kissing her head.

"I'm in love with you," she sat beside him, bringing her plate to her lap. "And I thank you for helping me with all of this… I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I know, and I'm in love with you too." He said softly.


End file.
